As most of you know I've been doing a lot of writing lately. Most of which hasn't even been in the hanson fandom. I've been writing a lot of Kradam and Adam Lambert lately.
While this was happening, I should have been writing for The Spark Inside Challenge. I signed up for it months ago. It was supposed to be a collaboration effort. I got paired up with Renee C. aka mizzc. Well a week or two or more ago we came up with a story line which was great. Finally we could get writing. So Renee took chapter one and it came out really well. I liked where it was going. But when it came time for me to write chapter two... I could not for the life of me figure out what to do, how to start. I'd sit in front of my computer and just read over the first chapter and I couldn't even come up with a good line. The hardest part was that I had all these other ideas for different stories that had absolutely nothing to do with hanson floating around in my head. I had to get them out the only way I know how: I wrote the thoughts down.
But that brings me to tonight. Renee sent me an @reply on twitter asking about how I was doing with SPARK. I told her the truth: it wasn't going good at all. Then she suggested that we back out of the challenge. I told her we probably should because I can't even wrap my head around the Hanson fandom at the moment. Next thing I know she stopped following me on twitter, but what hurt the most is that she blocked me from seeing her posts.
I don't even know what I did wrong :/ I mean, yeah, it completely sucks that we had to drop out. But I can't help if I'm drawing an absolute blank in one fandom and then can't write fast enough for another. All in all I wanna know why I was shunned like that. I don't care if you think I'm a baby when I admit that I was so upset over this complete cutoff from someone I thought was a friend that I actually cried. I feel like shot and a failure and I would like an explanation. But you know what? She probably cut me from her eljay friends list too so she won't even see this. Whatev.
I just don't get it. What did I do wrong?
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