writefiction: (Zac Africa Cam)
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Title / Chapter: The Beat of Your Heart (02/?)
Author: amanda: jaclyn's twin sister
Pairing: Zac Hanson / OFC [Julie]
Rating: PG-ish
P.O.V.: First Person, Zac Hanson
Author’s Notes: This was written for [livejournal.com profile] all_unwritten  prompt #92: her hair fell over her eyes. It went from a drabble/short into something more =)
Previous Chapters
Not your typical boy-meets-girl.


I look down at the gently-worn notebook paper in my hand. It’s the letter from the girl who received Kate’s heart when she died. I don’t know how many times I’ve read it. Enough times that the creases have grown soft and some of the ink faded. When I read it a part of me gets mad, mad that this girl got to live when my wife had to die. But also mad that my wife had to die in order for her to live. Then there’s that other part of me that wants to call Dr. Lions up and ask for Julie’s information so I can contact her. But when I reach for the phone to do just that, I stop myself.

I stop myself for my wife, for her family, for my family, for everyone that’s ever known her. I stop because I feel like maybe I’m betraying her for contacting this woman. But then I think about how she wants to know about Kate, about the woman who saved her life, and I can’t help but think she deserves to know her. She deserves to know what an amazing woman my wife was; how kind and caring she was. How she didn’t deserve to be killed because some loser couldn’t hold his liquor.

I feel like I’ve been debating this for weeks; to call or not to call, that is the question. I’m not sure what to do and there’s no one to talk to. I can’t talk to anyone about this, I didn’t even tell my mom why Dr. Lions had written. I don’t want people to think I’m betraying Kate, which is definitely the biggest of my fears in this situation.

I sigh and pick up my phone. I very slowly dial the number to Dr. Lions’ office. It rings twice and I’m about to hang up when I gruff voice answers.

“Georgia State Division of Organ Donation. Dr. Lions speaking. How may I help you?”

My breath catches in my throat and my chest is tight, I can’t breathe. I’m quickly starting to panic. But then I hear Dr. Lions sigh. “Maybe this isn’t a good time,” he says softly in that rough voice of his. “You can always call back later.”

I inhale deeply. “No, I’m good,” I tell him.

“Are you sure?” he asks with concern.

I nod. “Yeah, yeah, I’m sure.”

There’s a beat of silence. Then Dr. Lions speaks. “So, what can I do for you today, Mister…?”

“Hanson. Zac Hanson.” I roll my eyes at how stupid that sounds, like I’m James Bond or something.

“Ah, Mr. Hanson,” he says. “I suppose you got my letter?”

“Yes, I did.”

“I hope it didn’t offend. I know times like this can be rough and even well-meaning gestures can be painful.” A lump sits itself in my throat and moisture gathers in my eyes.

I clear my throat before speaking, gathering my strength. “No, there was no offense taken.” I pause. “It was…hard,” I tell the doctor honestly, “to read it at first. But after a lot of careful thought I’ve decided that I’d like to contact Julie.”

“And you’re sure about this?” Dr. Lions asks.

I nod, feeling more confident about my decision as I say, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Well, okay then,” he replies. “I will personally send you the information today. For privacy reasons I can’t give it to you over the phone.”

“I understand,” I tell him, even though it irks me that I’ll have to wait even longer to get this over with. “Thanks, Doc.”

“It’s no problem, Zac. I think it’s great you want to reply to her. It may help you both,” Dr. Lions tells me.

I nod. “Thanks, Doc,” I say again. “I guess that’s all I really needed.”

“Okay, but if you ever need anything else, just call. You have my number.”

“Thanks again,” I reply.

“Have a good day, Zac.”

I inhale deeply and let it out slowly. “You too, Doc.” Then we hang up.

I flop back against my pillows, mad that I actually called and didn’t hang up and now have to wait another few days for her address or phone number or whatever to get here.

Can’t someone just give me a break already? I mean, I just lost my wife and I’m contacting the woman that’s, in a way, keep her alive. Do I really have to wait longer?

For the first time I realize just how greasy my hair is and just how much my pits stink. I sigh and decided to take a hot bath, maybe with some bubbles. Kate always said that a bubble bath was the best way to relax after a stressful day.

Oh, Kate, how I miss you so.

& & & & & & &

So what'd ya think?
Stay Tuned for Chapter Three!
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August 2011

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