writefiction: (chucks)
writefiction ([personal profile] writefiction) wrote2009-07-24 03:53 am
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What did I do wrong?

As most of you know I've been doing a lot of writing lately. Most of which hasn't even been in the hanson fandom. I've been writing a lot of Kradam and Adam Lambert lately.

While this was happening, I should have been writing for The Spark Inside Challenge. I signed up for it months ago. It was supposed to be a collaboration effort. I got paired up with Renee C. aka [livejournal.com profile] mizzc. Well a week or two or more ago we came up with a story line which was great. Finally we could get writing. So Renee took chapter one and it came out really well. I liked where it was going. But when it came time for me to write chapter two... I could not for the life of me figure out what to do, how to start. I'd sit in front of my computer and just read over the first chapter and I couldn't even come up with a good line. The hardest part was that I had all these other ideas for different stories that had absolutely nothing to do with hanson floating around in my head. I had to get them out the only way I know how: I wrote the thoughts down.

But that brings me to tonight. Renee sent me an @reply on twitter asking about how I was doing with SPARK. I told her the truth: it wasn't going good at all. Then she suggested that we back out of the challenge. I told her we probably should because I can't even wrap my head around the Hanson fandom at the moment. Next thing I know she stopped following me on twitter, but what hurt the most is that she blocked me from seeing her posts.

I don't even know what I did wrong :/ I mean, yeah, it completely sucks that we had to drop out. But I can't help if I'm drawing an absolute blank in one fandom and then can't write fast enough for another. All in all I wanna know why I was shunned like that. I don't care if you think I'm a baby when I admit that I was so upset over this complete cutoff from someone I thought was a friend that I actually cried. I feel like shot and a failure and I would like an explanation. But you know what? She probably cut me from her eljay friends list too so she won't even see this. Whatev.

I just don't get it. What did I do wrong?

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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[identity profile] lire-casander.livejournal.com 2009-07-24 08:09 am (UTC)(link)
Awww, honey, I'm so sorry. *hugs* I'm pretty sure she has an explanation, and that she hasn't cut you off her friends list on LJ.

It's okay!!!

[identity profile] mizzc.livejournal.com 2009-07-24 10:37 am (UTC)(link)
Hey, no, I didn't block you on here. The only reason I blocked you on Twitter is because I was making posts about how I was going to sign up for HanWriMo since I had to quit The Spark Inside and I didn't want you to think I was trying to put a guilt trip on you by posting that. I guess blocking you had the same effect, though it wasn't my intention.

I'll admit, I was a little bothered at the time that you chose to quit, because I hate signing up for something and not finishing it. You're right, though, you can't help if you draw a blank. There is no need to try to write something if you can't find the motivation, so I completely get it and understand.

Trust me, I'm not mad at you at all. As far as Twitter goes, I just didn't want you to read my posts about HanWriMo and quitting the Spark and think I was directing those posts toward you. Sorry for blocking you rather than explaining that I wasn't meaning anything by the tweets.

Don't be upset over this! It is probably best that we aren't participating. I have a tooooon of stuff to get ready for the next school year anyway and only have a month to do so!

=)
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