writefiction: (you bitch)

I've had a couple of awful days. I feel sick as all hell, all I can do is sleep and my kidney is hurting again. My sister has her AIM status as some people shouldn't cut their hair so short because it makes them look like a man wicked baaaaaaad :) just sayin. I'd like to know how she knows I even cut my hair. She's probably trolling my myspace cuz that's not private and my facebook is.

Anyway. Last night Adam Lambert performed on American Idol. It wasn't my favorite performance of Whataya Want From Me but it still brought a tear to my eye. That song means more to me than anyone will ever understand. Not even Hanson has come out with a song that has touched me so deeply. But it really hurt when someone I thought was the kind of friend who wouldn't be so unkind as to say sorry, Amanda, but eeeeewwww! Adam Lambert! Gross! Its not that I care so much about her liking him or not. It's the fact that she thinks she "forewarned" me not to read her tweets about how she doesn't like him. I'm sorry but saying ew gross in an @reply to your friend is not a forewarning. It's a big fuck you in the face. So I kind of got made and replied with, you don't need to ruin it for me. This song is personal and means more to me than anything hanson has done in the last 13 years.

This morning I emailed her to apologize for freaking out on her. I also explained how much her words hurt me after such a personal song was performed. I even explained how much that song means to me. But she comes back with that she's not going to apologize because she didn't do anything wrong and he IS gross. She can have her own opinion and I'm just too sensitive.

Yeah, I'm sensitive, I can't help it. I'm allowed to have my own feelings and there's nothing wrong with them. It's what I do with them that matters. I said something not so nice and then apologized. Yet when I tell her that saying he was gross upset me, she says it AGAIN!!! WTF?! Srsly, she could just say that she doesn't like him and be done with it. Someone else said that they don't get the appeal and I didn't jump on her because of it because she was respectful of other peopel's feelings. And while this girl may not have known at first how upset I'd get, you would think she could hold back in her email from calling him gross again when she specifically knew this time that those words are upsetting to me.

Also has she even listened to any of his songs or read about how much he does for donorschoose.org? Maybe the only thing she bases her opinion on is his AMA performance, which is stupid because he's more than that. So much more. He's kind of fucking brilliant if you ask me. He's a legend in the making that I'm so grateful to be getting to witness. It's like Elvis all over again.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

writefiction: (chucks)

As most of you know I've been doing a lot of writing lately. Most of which hasn't even been in the hanson fandom. I've been writing a lot of Kradam and Adam Lambert lately.

While this was happening, I should have been writing for The Spark Inside Challenge. I signed up for it months ago. It was supposed to be a collaboration effort. I got paired up with Renee C. aka [livejournal.com profile] mizzc. Well a week or two or more ago we came up with a story line which was great. Finally we could get writing. So Renee took chapter one and it came out really well. I liked where it was going. But when it came time for me to write chapter two... I could not for the life of me figure out what to do, how to start. I'd sit in front of my computer and just read over the first chapter and I couldn't even come up with a good line. The hardest part was that I had all these other ideas for different stories that had absolutely nothing to do with hanson floating around in my head. I had to get them out the only way I know how: I wrote the thoughts down.

But that brings me to tonight. Renee sent me an @reply on twitter asking about how I was doing with SPARK. I told her the truth: it wasn't going good at all. Then she suggested that we back out of the challenge. I told her we probably should because I can't even wrap my head around the Hanson fandom at the moment. Next thing I know she stopped following me on twitter, but what hurt the most is that she blocked me from seeing her posts.

I don't even know what I did wrong :/ I mean, yeah, it completely sucks that we had to drop out. But I can't help if I'm drawing an absolute blank in one fandom and then can't write fast enough for another. All in all I wanna know why I was shunned like that. I don't care if you think I'm a baby when I admit that I was so upset over this complete cutoff from someone I thought was a friend that I actually cried. I feel like shot and a failure and I would like an explanation. But you know what? She probably cut me from her eljay friends list too so she won't even see this. Whatev.

I just don't get it. What did I do wrong?

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

writefiction: (Default)

I would just like to say that it pisses me off when people want to breed their animals when so many people can't afford to keep their animals because of this economy. It especially pisses me off when they want to do it just to get it out of his system before we get him fixed. WTF?!?! animals are not people in the way that having sex is emotional and sharing your love. It's just breeding and a means of survival. It's also stupid to advertise wanting to breed your dog on a site that specifically says NO ANIMAL BREEDING.

People are fucking stupid.

/end rant

P.S. I've said before that if I got a gecko I'd like to breed it. But that is more out of an educational standpoint, not for selling. And I'm not sure I'd even do that.

I know, I sound like a hypocrit.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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August 2011

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