What did I do wrong?

[writefiction]

As most of you know I've been doing a lot of writing lately. Most of which hasn't even been in the hanson fandom. I've been writing a lot of Kradam and Adam Lambert lately.

While this was happening, I should have been writing for The Spark Inside Challenge. I signed up for it months ago. It was supposed to be a collaboration effort. I got paired up with Renee C. aka mizzc. Well a week or two or more ago we came up with a story line which was great. Finally we could get writing. So Renee took chapter one and it came out really well. I liked where it was going. But when it came time for me to write chapter two... I could not for the life of me figure out what to do, how to start. I'd sit in front of my computer and just read over the first chapter and I couldn't even come up with a good line. The hardest part was that I had all these other ideas for different stories that had absolutely nothing to do with hanson floating around in my head. I had to get them out the only way I know how: I wrote the thoughts down.

But that brings me to tonight. Renee sent me an @reply on twitter asking about how I was doing with SPARK. I told her the truth: it wasn't going good at all. Then she suggested that we back out of the challenge. I told her we probably should because I can't even wrap my head around the Hanson fandom at the moment. Next thing I know she stopped following me on twitter, but what hurt the most is that she blocked me from seeing her posts.

I don't even know what I did wrong :/ I mean, yeah, it completely sucks that we had to drop out. But I can't help if I'm drawing an absolute blank in one fandom and then can't write fast enough for another. All in all I wanna know why I was shunned like that. I don't care if you think I'm a baby when I admit that I was so upset over this complete cutoff from someone I thought was a friend that I actually cried. I feel like shot and a failure and I would like an explanation. But you know what? She probably cut me from her eljay friends list too so she won't even see this. Whatev.

I just don't get it. What did I do wrong?

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Comments

[lire-casander.livejournal.com]

Awww, honey, I'm so sorry. *hugs* I'm pretty sure she has an explanation, and that she hasn't cut you off her friends list on LJ.

[writefiction.livejournal.com]

*hugs* thanks. And no worries. Everything worked out. :)

It's okay!!!

[mizzc.livejournal.com]

Hey, no, I didn't block you on here. The only reason I blocked you on Twitter is because I was making posts about how I was going to sign up for HanWriMo since I had to quit The Spark Inside and I didn't want you to think I was trying to put a guilt trip on you by posting that. I guess blocking you had the same effect, though it wasn't my intention.

I'll admit, I was a little bothered at the time that you chose to quit, because I hate signing up for something and not finishing it. You're right, though, you can't help if you draw a blank. There is no need to try to write something if you can't find the motivation, so I completely get it and understand.

Trust me, I'm not mad at you at all. As far as Twitter goes, I just didn't want you to read my posts about HanWriMo and quitting the Spark and think I was directing those posts toward you. Sorry for blocking you rather than explaining that I wasn't meaning anything by the tweets.

Don't be upset over this! It is probably best that we aren't participating. I have a tooooon of stuff to get ready for the next school year anyway and only have a month to do so!

=)

Re: It's okay!!!

[writefiction.livejournal.com]

Thanks for explaining. I'm glad we're okay. Trust me, I hate signing up for something and having to back out too. It's annoying as all hell. I was so psyched to be doing it and to have you as a partner. But it just wasn't happening. *shrug* If I thought there was any way I could get over this Hanson block, I never would have quit SPARK. I was so excited to do it.

Maybe I was a little over-emotional about the whole blocking thing... But I've made some good friends on here recently, you being one of them, and my lj/twitter friends are really the only people I talk to on (almost) a daily basis. I've enjoyed making these new friends and it just sucked to maybe think I had screwed one of those friendships up.

So anyway, I'm glad this is all cleared up. And srsly, I'm proud of how this worked out. It shows how much I've grown as a person b/c in the past this would not have been worked out so nicely, or even at all. So... yay! haha I hope you have an easier time with HanWriMo than we did with Spark. You probably will since you won't have a co-writer whose all hanson-blocked! ;D

*hugs*