New "Breaking Free" Chapter!!!

[writefiction]

Title/Chapter: Breaking Free (40/?)
Author: amanda: jaclyn's twin sister
Pairing: Zaylor Hanson, Zac/OFC: Andy
Rating: NC-17 over-all
Word Count: 3,319
Previous Chapters
P.O.V.: switches back and forth but is clearly marked.
Notes: AU-ish. No Natalie, Ezra, Ellie etc. And they still live in Tulsa. And the story starts in May 2003.
Summary: Breaking Free is a tale of two brothers who fall in love and the struggles to make it work. Can they make it last a lifetime? Or will the relationship crash and burn?　

 

CHAPTER FORTY

ZAC’S POV

I wake in the morning feeling very content and noticing I’m sharing someone’s body heat. In an instant, the memories come flooding back like a movie playing in my mind. I remember the wedding, the fight with Taylor, the talk we had and how Andy and I ended up taking a break from reality to be together and work out our feelings. But I mostly remember how we made love and how it made me feel so complete. It made me feel things on such a deeper level, more so than when I’d ever been with Taylor.

I sigh and squeeze her tight, murmuring her name. “You’re awake?” she asks. I nod, my eyes still closed. I feel her crawl up my body and lay a gentle kiss to my lips. “How’d you sleep?” she asks.

I smile, finally opening my eyes. “I slept really well, actually. You don’t hog the covers,” I joke. Andy rolls her eyes, but does so with a playful grin. “How about you?” I ask. “And how long have you been up? You seem wide awake.”

My best friend blushes. “A while,” she answers.

“How long is a while?”

She blushes harder. “Two hours.”

My eyes go wide in shock. “Two hours?!” I exclaim. Then I chuckle. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I just wanted to watch you,” she says. “You looked really peaceful and I figured you needed that after all the conflicting feelings of yesterday.” She shrugs.

“You’re sweet, you know that?” I tell her, stroking my hand through her hair.

She smiles at me. “You’re pretty sweet yourself too,” she says. “Especially right here.” She presses her lips to mine, kissing me softly.

“Mm. Yeah. You too,” I reply when she pulls back.

“I love you, Zac,” Andy says, that beautiful smile lighting up her face.

I smile back. “I love you too.” Then I sigh and hug her close, her head falling to rest on my shoulder. She presses her nose in to my neck and inhales deeply. I love this feeling of contentment that having her in my arms brings. This feeling of satisfaction and love, something I haven’t quite felt completely with Taylor. Yes, it was there, but never this strong, never this wonderful. It makes me kind of sad that I never felt like this about him. That I’ve been married to him all this time and it never felt this great.

I sigh and Andy lifts her head. “What’s wrong, Monster?” she asks.

I shrug. “It’s just… You and I have this connection, something I’ve always known we’ve had, but it’s different, it’s more. Taylor and I… we’re in love but it’s not the same. I feel so much more for you. And, well, it kind of makes me sad that I married someone, had a kid with them and then realized they were second best.” I shrug again.

Andy strokes my hair lovingly. “I’m sorry you’re sad, Monster,” she says. “What can I do to make it better?”

“I don’t know that there is anything you can do,” I tell her. “I think it’ll just take time.”

“I wish I could do something,” she murmurs. “I don’t like it when you’re sad.”

I smile softly and run my fingers through her curls. “Don’t worry, babe, I’ll be fine.” Then I lift my head, touching my lips to hers in a light kiss. “I love you,” I murmur.

“Love you too,” she replies.

We lay together for a little while longer, kissing and cuddling before we notice that we should probably start getting ready for breakfast. Somehow we end up in the shower together, I’m not exactly sure how it happened, but I’m not complaining. We make love quickly in the shower and it’s as exciting as the first time. When our breathing returns to normal, we wash each other slowly and gently. When we’re done getting ready, I call Taylor to make sure he’s ready too. Then it’s off to the hotel restaurant.

I spot my brother immediately when we enter the dining room on the first floor. I grin as I see Jenna sitting in his lap. I hurry over to them, so happy to see my little baby. “Dada!” Jenna squeals when I get to the table.

“Jenn-Jenn!” I exclaim scooping her in to my arms. I place random kisses all over her face which makes her squeal and giggle. Then I lean down and kiss Taylor on the head almost as if by habit. “Oh, I, um…”

“It’s okay,” Taylor and Andy say together. I blush lightly and sit down across from my brother at the table, Andy sitting beside me. Jenna leans over and kisses her god-mother, happy to see her.

“How was your night?” I ask Taylor. “Was Jenna good for you?”

Taylor nods, swallowing his coffee. “She was an angel, slept through the night and then entertained herself in her crib till I woke up.”

I smile down at my baby. “You are getting to be such a big girl, you know that?” I tell her. “You don’t need Pop-Pop to pick you up as soon as you wake up and you didn’t cry. So proud of you.” I kiss her lightly on the head.

“How was your night?” Taylor asks, taking a sip of his coffee. I glance at Andy and she blushes.

“It was… helpful,” I answer hesitantly. “We talked a lot and watched a movie.” I shrug. He doesn’t have to know about the sexual stuff.

Taylor nods. “That’s good.” An awkward silence settles over us and then Aaron appears at our table. He takes a seat next to Taylor and gives us a strained smile.

“So how are things?” he asks.

“Good,” Andy answers. “What about you?” Aaron shrugs and looks down at his menu. It’s like they’re strangers and not husband and wife. But then again, I think last night -- and this morning -- ruined that relationship. I have to remember that this isn’t my fault, that she wanted this too, I’m not entirely to blame. But I still can’t help the feeling of guilt nibbling away at my stomach.

“Are you going to put her in her chair?” Taylor asks. I look down at the little girl snuggling happily in my arms and make a face.

“I guess so,” I sigh. “Or else she’ll be trying to eat my food.”

“You missed her, didn’t you?” Taylor replies.

I nod as I put Jenna in her high chair and buckle her in. “I missed her a lot. It was the first time I spent a night away from her.” Taylor nods. “I didn’t realize I was missing her while we talked and watched the movie, but when we hunkered down in bed to go to sleep it hit me, ya know? I usually check on her before I go to bed and I didn’t get to do it.” I shrug.

“She missed you too,” Taylor says when I try to pull away from our daughter and she grabs a fistful of my shirt.

“Hey, Sweetie, it’s okay,” I tell her. “Daddy’s just gonna sit down now. Breakfast is coming.” Her eyes light up at the mention of food and her grip on me loosens enough so that I can pull away to sit down. “Oh you’re ready for breakfast, aren’t you?” Jenna squeals and claps her hands. I chuckle at her enthusiasm and grin.

Once our food comes, I immediately start to chow down, wanting to finish quickly so I can feed my baby her breakfast. At the moment we’ve got her occupied with some Cheerios. I choke a little on a bite of egg and Andy pats me on the back. “Geez, Monster, slow down. This isn’t a race.”

I take a swallow of my juice. “Sorry, can’t help it. I just want to get done so I can feed Jenna.” I shrug.

“I’m sure she’d love it if you fed her, but I’m also sure she’d like it if you weren’t choking to death in the process,” Taylor says. “Besides, she’s got her Cheerios, she can wait till you’re done.”

I make a face at him. “Fine, I’ll try to slow down.” I chew normally on the next bite of food and the bite after that, slowing down considerably. I’m still the first person finished though.

Taylor hands me a jar of pears and a spoon. I uncap the pears and Jenna looks at me with excitement in her eyes. “Are you ready, baby?” I ask her. “D’you want some pears? Huh?” The little girl makes grabby hands at me and opens her mouth wide. I laugh and spoon up some of the fruit for her. She greedily sucks it off the spoon when I offer it up. Our table is pretty much quiet for most of the meal, an awkward silence. I think if Aaron wasn’t at the table we’d be fine. Taylor is getting along with all of us, it’s Aaron who’s being… I don’t know… cordial. It makes me frustrated, and sad for Andy. But what can I do?

When Jenna’s done with her pears, I wipe her face up and Taylor pulls out a bottle for her. He hands it to me, our fingers brushing, and I smile at him. He smiles back a little shy smile that I find adorable. Once again, conflicting feelings are running through me. Beside me, Andy sets down her tea and says, “You mind if I do that?”

I look at her. “No, not at all.” I put the bottle down on the table in front of her, then hand her Jenna.

“So, uh, Zac,” Taylor says. I turn away from Andy and the baby to look at my brother, raising my eyebrows. “Did you want to take Jenna for the day?”

I grin at him. “Yeah, if you don’t mind. I really missed her.”

Taylor smiles softly. “I know, that’s why I asked. She missed you too, ya know.” I nod, reaching over to touch her chubby little hand which is covering Andy’s on the bottle. We chat for a while longer and once Jenna’s done with her bottle, we pay for our food.

When we all get up to leave, Andy tugs on my arm. “Hey, um, I need to talk to Aaron for a bit. You mind meeting me back at your room?”

I shake my head. “No, it’s fine. I kind of want to talk to Tay for a little too.”

Andy nods. “Okay, see you in a bit.” Then she kisses Jenna’s head and we part ways.

Taylor and I are silent on our way up to his room where I need to pack up a bag for Jenna. Taylor unlocks the door to the hotel room and lets us in. I bring Jenna over to her crib and set her up with some toys. Then I move over to the bed and sit on the edge of it. Taylor sits down facing me. “So we need to talk?” he asks. “Have you made your decision already?”

I sigh heavily. “It’s not definite but… I think I might have,” I tell him honestly. Taylor nods. “Can we… can we just, I don’t know, cuddle while we do this?”

“Sure,” Taylor murmurs, sliding up towards the pillows. I crawl up behind him and wrap my body around his slim frame, my arms slipping around his waist. I press my nose to the back of his neck, inhaling deeply. His scent is comforting, but not really the one I want invading my senses at the moment which only makes my heart sink. “What really happened last night?” Taylor asks.

“I told you,” I say quietly.

“Yeah, but you left out the fact that you slept together,” Taylor replies.

I sigh. “How’d you know?” There’s no point in denying it now.

“You were hesitant to answer and Andy’s blush made it obvious,” he tells me.

I nod and press my lips to the back of his neck. “I’m so sorry,” I murmur. Taylor squeezes my fingers and we lapse in to silence for a moment.

“So what did you need to talk to me about?” my husband asks. I swallow around the lump forming in my throat and blink back my tears.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper. Taylor strokes my hand lightly, encouragingly. “I honestly didn’t think this would happen,” I tell him quietly. “But I feel so much for Andy, it’s… I don’t know.” I sigh heavily, hugging my brother a little tighter.

“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?” Taylor says. I nod, burying my face in his hair. “And what about me?” he asks.

“I love you,” I answer honestly. “I’ve always loved you. But it’s different with Andy. It’s so much more and… you don’t deserve to be second best.”

“I’m second best?” Taylor asks. I shrug, the tears I’d been holding back beginning to fall. “Are you crying?” he asks, turning around in my arms. When he sees the tears on my face, he gasps quietly. “Oh, Zac,” he murmurs, wiping gently at the salty drops on my cheeks. “Don’t cry. Everything’s going to be alright.”

“I don’t want to do this to you,” I tell him. “I’ve loved you for most of my life and we got married and we have a baby and I just…” I shake my head. “I don’t want to hurt you. It breaks my heart to do this, but I can’t… I can’t help the way my heart feels about her.”

“Shh. I know,” Taylor soothes. “I know you’re not doing this on purpose. I know you don’t want to hurt me.”

“I just… It sucks. I wish I could have you both,” I tell him honestly.

“But you can’t,” he murmurs. “And I know you think you’ve decided, but it seems to me like you’re still conflicted. I think you need more time to get your ducks in a row.” I nod. “C’mere,” he murmurs, pulling me close. I bury my face in his chest, willing myself not to break down but it doesn’t help and I begin to sob.

Taylor holds me tightly to his body, rubbing my back in soothing circles. “Shh, it’s okay, Zac. Calm down. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” I mumble in to his shirt. “I broke our vows. I’m not… I’m in love with someone else.”

“Shh,” Taylor murmurs.

I pull my face out of his chest and look at him sadly. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m so, so sorry. Please forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Zac,” Taylor replies, running his fingers through my hair. He strokes my cheek lightly and then leans in, pressing his lips to mine. I curl my arms around him tightly and kiss him desperately, knowing this will be the last time.

　

ANDY’S POV

“Can we go back to the room and talk?” I ask my husband. His jaw is clenched tightly, but he nods an affirmative. There’s a stony silence as we ride the elevator up to the second floor that continues down the hall and follows us in to the hotel room.

I sit down on the edge of the bed and Aaron leans against the chest of drawers across from me. I sigh and scrub my face with my hands. “I um… There’s something I didn’t tell you about the things Zac and I needed to work out,” I begin. Aaron just stands there, his arms folded over his chest, staring at me with his jaw clenched. “See, the thing is, Zac and I needed to work out our feelings, our feelings for each other. I… I’ve been in love with him since I was sixteen years old,” I tell him. “No matter who I’ve been with since, I’ve still had this place in my heart that only belongs to Zac.”

I look down at my hands, wringing them in my lap. “I thought it would be okay to have a baby with him, that nothing would change, but it… It got complicated after that. That space in my heart got bigger. It gets bigger every day, every time I see him with Jenna. Every time I talk to him or I’m near him. He’s so much more to me than a best friend.”

I lift my gaze to my new husband’s. “I’m so sorry, Aaron,” I whisper. “I didn’t want this to happen but… I want an annulment.”

“You want a what?” Aaron asks, his eyes wide in surprise.

My eyes begin to tear up as I repeat my statement. “I want an annulment.”

Aaron stands there, staring at me with his eyes bugged out. But then those emerald orbs narrow and he grits his teeth. “You’re leaving me for some fag? We haven’t even been married twenty-four hours!” The tears trail down my cheeks and I stand, moving over to Aaron. I place my hands on his hips and stare in to his eyes, the color identical to my own.

“Please don’t call him that,” I murmur. “Be mad at me. Not him. Okay?” Aaron averts his eyes. “Aaron, I’m so sorry, but Zac will always be my number one,” I tell him. “And I just can’t be with you knowing that I’m treating you as second best. I know how that feels and it sucks hardcore. I don’t want to make you feel that way.”

“What if Zac changes his mind?” the older man asks. “What if he and Taylor are making up right now as we speak?” He brings his gaze back to mine.

“I still want an annulment,” I answer honestly. “You deserve to be someone’s number one. Someone’s one and only. You don’t deserve second best and, I’m sorry, but that’s how it’d be with me.”

Aaron strokes my cheek lightly and tucks my hair behind my ear. “Have I always been second best?” I look away from him and nod. There’s a moment of silence, then Aaron cups my chin in his calloused hand and turns my face back to his. “I’m sorry it has to be this way,” he says. “I wish you could have figured this out before we spent all this money on the wedding and committed to each other for life.”

“Me too,” I murmur. “I’ll pay you back for the wedding.”

Aaron shakes his head. “Don’t bother.” He sighs quietly, looking away. I continue to stare at him, wondering what he’s thinking. After a moment he looks back at me, stroking my cheek, wiping away the tears. “I hate it when you cry,” he says.

“Can’t help it,” I whisper. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

“I know,” he replies. He licks his lips, staring in to my eyes, green on green. Then he leans forward, pressing his mouth to mine, wrapping his arms around me tightly. I melt in to his embrace, the tears flowing faster.

I let out a choked sob against his mouth and he pulls back. “I want to be with you one last time,” he says quietly. “I just want to say goodbye.” I nod, backing up towards the bed.

I lay down against the pillows and Aaron crawls on top of me. He kisses me slowly and softly, his tears mixing with mine. “I love you,” he murmurs against my lips.

“I love you too,” I tell him. “I always have. I just…”

Aaron stops me with a finger to my lips. “Shh,” he says. “I don’t want to talk about it right now. I just want to make love to you.” I nod and lean up to kiss him.

We make quick work of our clothes, kissing every inch of new skin that appears. We’re a mess of tangled limbs, a light sheen of sweat covering our bodies. “I need you,” Aaron whispers.

I look him square in the eye. “Take me,” I reply.


& & & & &

Stay Tuned fo Chapter 41!!!!

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