Glamberts Big Bang Chapter 01

[writefiction]

Title/Chapter: Kiss Away the Pain (01/16+Epilogue)
Author: amanda: jaclyn’s twin sister
Beta: mindchnger
Artists: peculiar_mind / gargoyles42 /
Fandom: American Idol
Pairing: Adam Lambert / OFC [Luxe]
Rating: R
P.O.V.: First Person, OFC: Luxe
Word Count: 2,128
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Summary: Luxe and Adam have been best friends since Hollywood Week, but now that tour rehearsals have begun, Adam is finding out things he'd never known about his friend. Things that no one should have to go through. Can Adam be her Knight in Shining Armor? Or will he be the support Luxe needs to help herself?

“So what’s your secret?” Adam asks. He’s sitting, legs crossed, across from me on his designated bed in the room we’re sharing.

I feel my body temperature rise a couple of degrees and look away from his startling blue eyes. “I… I’ve never explored a guy before,” I answer slowly. Then I lift my gaze back to my best friend’s. His eyes are wide in shock.

“Seriously?” he asks. I nod. “Why?” I look down at the bedspread.

Why did I agree to this stupid game?

Before I can even really finish that thought, my eyes begin to water. “Shit,” I mutter and dig the heels of my hands into my eyes.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Adam says softly, moving to my side and wrapping an arm around me. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was twenty-one, you’re only twenty-four.”

I shake my head, wiping at my eyes. “No, it’s… it’s not that,” I tell him. “I’m not embarrassed.”

“Then what is it?” he asks. I shake my head. “C’mon now. You said you’d tell me a secret.”

I raise my head and look Adam in the eye. “You don’t want to know my secret,” I whisper.

Adam brushes a lock of my thick hair back from my eyes. “I wanna know all your secrets,” he murmurs. The soft purr of his voice and the look in his eyes is too much for me. I lean in and press my lips to his.

Adam kisses me back for a moment, moving his lips gently against mine. But it only lasts a moment. All too soon I find him slowly pulling back from me.

“What was that?” he asks quietly. I bite my lower lip, still tasting him there, and shrug. I study his face with wide innocent eyes. He doesn’t look angry. But I know that Adam Lambert can hide his emotions just as well as he can express them. “I guess I should tell you my secret then,” he says.

“I… I guess you should,” I reply, a bit confused.

Adam lowers his gaze for a moment, then looks back at me. “Have you read the Rolling Stone article?”

I give him a look. “You know I don’t read up on you, Adam. If there’s something you want me to know I’m sure you’ll tell me.”

Adam takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “I talked about you in the interview,” he says.

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. “Really? No one said anything to me.”

“That’s because I didn’t use your name,” he tells me.

I nod slowly. “Okay…”

“I made this comment…” He lets his sentence go unfinished looking almost… bashful.

Now that’s a word I never thought I’d use to describe him.

“Go on,” I encourage. Adam blushes, actually blushes, and looks away sheepishly. I can’t help the smile that comes over my face. He’s adorable when he blushes!

“I um… I kind of said that lately I’ve been feeling sort of… bi-curious,” he says slowly.

I give him a confused look. “And what does that have to do with… Oh. Ohhh!” Realization finally sets in. “That was… that comment was about me?”

Adam bites his lip and nods.

I look around the room as if all the answers are hidden somewhere among the furniture. Slowly I let my gaze wander back to my best friend. His blue eyes are curious. “What do we do?” I whisper, a knot of fear curling in the pit of my stomach.

Adam lets his fingers brush against my cheek. “Let me take care of you,” he says softly. I’m silent, unsure of what to say, how to answer. All I know is that I want those soft lips against mine again.

Maybe against more than just my mouth.

A shiver runs down my spine at the thought. I look into Adam’s eyes and see reassurance there. I lick over my lips and sit up on my knees. I move closer to my best friend, taking his face gently in my hands. I let my thumb stroke over his cheek a moment before leaning in, capturing his lips with my own. This time when we kiss Adam doesn’t hesitate to kiss back. His lips are firm but gentle, his hands resting lightly on my hips.

I inch closer, a knee on either side of my friend’s legs, my arms wrapping around his neck. His grip tightens on my hips, pulling me down into his lap. He drags his tongue along the seam of my lips asking kindly for permission. I moan quietly and, against my better judgment, open my mouth for him.

Adam is so gentle with me, as if he’s scared I’ll break. It’s completely unfamiliar to me, like something in a dream. Maybe that’s all this is: a dream. A really great dream. One that I don’t intend to wake from. But soon it starts to turn in to a nightmare.

We’re lying on the bed, our limbs tangled together, Adam’s shirt carelessly tossed aside when he pulls me tightly to his body. Our hips touch and I can feel the length of his arousal through his tight jeans. My heart begins to pound painfully against my ribcage and it gets hard to breathe, my entire body shaking. Adam pulls back and looks at me with concern. "Are you okay?" he asks. I bite my lip and shrug with one shoulder. Adam tucks my hair behind my ear and strokes my face gently. "We don't have to do this," he says quietly. "If you're not ready, it's okay."

There's something soothing in his voice, something that's calming and reassuring. I push his hair back from his eyes and smile. "I'm okay," I murmur. "I'm just... nervous."

Now that's the biggest understatement of the year.

"It's okay to be nervous," Adam says softly. "To be honest, I'm kind of nervous too." He shrugs.

I look at him surprised. "You're nervous?" My best friend nods. "Why?"

"This is new for me too, you know. I mean, yeah, I've been with guys and I've kissed a few girls and I've even gotten a blow job from one, but this..." he shakes his head. "This is different. This is new. It makes me nervous too." He shrugs again and bites his lip. The fact that Adam Lambert just admitted to me that he's nervous, calms me even more. I don't feel quite so sick any more. The panic attack that was coming on has passed.

I run my fingers through Adam's hair and smile gently. "I guess we'll just have to learn together then," I tell him.

He smiles. "I guess we will." He traces my jaw lightly and leans in to press his lips to mine. There's a fluttering of butterflies in my stomach but it's soon gone as Adam's hand gently strokes my face. His touches are so calm and reassuring, it's been years since I've been so physical with anyone and I can't help but enjoy it. I pull Adam close and this time I'm ready when his arousal brushes against my thigh.

Adam's hand slowly makes its way under my shirt, softly brushing at my side, making goose bumps break out on my skin. His hands move further under my shirt, pushing it up until he can pull it off over my head. I feel so exposed, the softer, pudgier side of me there for him to see. But he traces a line with his fingertips from my collarbones, down the swell of my breasts and over my chubby belly. “Beautiful,” he murmurs. That one word gives me the courage to reach up and unclasp my bra, letting Adam pull the straps down my shoulders and arms. He presses kisses across my shoulders and collarbones then down my chest. He gives kitten licks to my nipples and rolls them between his teeth, making me gasp in pleasure. I thread my fingers through his hair as he works his way down my torso, stopping at the waist of my jeans. Then he makes his way back up my body, continuing up my throat and ending at my mouth, delving his tongue deep inside.

Adam moans somewhere in his throat as I pop the button on his too-tight jeans. I slide them down past his hips and then have to almost peel them off the rest of the way, throwing them over the side of his bed. I look at him from this angle, laying flat on his back, legs spread, waiting for me to come back to him. I let my fingers trace up the inside of his thigh, his muscles quivering under my touch. Then I brush over the bulge in his navy briefs, a wet spot already forming. “Come ‘ere,” Adam purrs, reaching out for me. I crawl up his body and lay against his chest, staring into his beautiful blue eyes. He digs his fingers into my hair and pulls me in for a kiss. God, those lips and that tongue! I can’t get enough.

I let my hands wander over his smooth, freckled skin. So warm to the touch, so soft. I pinch and roll his nipples between my fingers, making him moan until they’re hard little nubs. I nibble lightly at the freckle on his lower lip. Then he suddenly flips us so I’m positioned beneath his strong body. I smile, breathless, and reach for him, but he wags a finger at me. “Nuh-uh.” He kisses a trail from my lips across my jaw and down to my neck. He kisses and licks a lingering path down my torso until he gets to my jeans. He prepares to pop the button, but looks up at me first. I take a breath and nod my permission, butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

Adam gently undoes the button on my jeans and slowly pulls down the zipper. My breathing and the whir of the metal teeth seem to be the only sound in the room. Adam carefully pulls my pants down past my hips and off my legs, tossing them aside. He kisses along the inside of one leg and then down the other, making me shiver. I reach down to curl my fingers in his hair, tugging slightly, wanting his lips back on mine. The singer obliges, crawling up my body to kiss me, his hips settling between my legs. I give an experimental roll of my hips and moan as Adam’s erection rubs against my moist center. Adam responds with a hip thrust and it’s angled just right to make me arch my back.

“Need you,” I mumble against his mouth, tugging at his hair.

“Mm, a little anxious, are we?” he replies hotly, his hands sliding up my arms as he continues to grind in to me. The next thing I know he’s got my hands pinned above my head, his large hands clenched around my wrists. I lose it then, fear replacing any and all pleasure I had been feeling.

I fight against his hold until he lets me go, tears spilling down my cheeks. I give him a hard shove off of me and jump off the bed, gathering up my clothes and locking myself in the bathroom. I hurry to get my clothes on, the feelings of shame and embarrassment overpowering. I can hear Adam rummaging around in the bedroom and I just pray he’s getting dressed and leaving, too pissed off to talk to me. But as I sit in the corner of the bathroom, crying in to my knees, my prayers go unanswered.
Adam knocks on the door. “Luxe, please,” he says. “I’m not mad. I just want to talk. Please, Luxe, open the door.”

“Go away!” I shout.

“I’m not leaving!” Adam replies through the door.

“Please, Adam, please!” I curl myself into the tightest ball that I can manage and just sob. I feel like such an ass and I don’t know why I even wanted to try anything with him. It was a mistake, one that I can’t take back. Not ever.

I hear Adam slump against the door and slide down it. He thumps his head back against the wood and sighs. “Please, Luxe,” he says so quietly I can barely hear it. I move to the door and press my ear to it. “What did I do wrong?” he murmurs. “I just… I just want to make it right. Please, Luxe, please let me in.” The sadness in his voice is almost too much for me to take. I twist the doorknob, making the lock click out of place. I move back from the door and hold my breath, waiting for it to open.