Last Christmas [songfic]
Dec. 30th, 2004 12:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
writefictionTitle: Last Christmas
Pairing: Benji Madden/?
Rating: PG-ish
Disclaimor: I do not know or own. This is purely fiction.
Summary: Tony was my everything. My heart...my soul...my best friend...my lover. But he never really loved me. I see that now.
Dedication: To Jerry Orbach cuz I'll miss him soooooooooooo much. I Love You. RIP. 1935 - 2004
SONG CREDIT
Song: Last Christmas
Band: WHAM!
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
Tony and I were good together. So good. Everyone thought so. Hell, so did my mom. But he never really loved me. I see that now. He used me for my love...my affection...my body. I was so blinded by love I couldn't see the forest through the trees. And last Christmas, at the end of the tour, he broke my heart.
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
Tony was my everything. My heart...my soul...my best friend...my lover. I had prepared to give him everything last Christmas. I was going to ask him to marry me. But he broke that dream. Now it's Christmas again. Christmas has always been hard for me ever since my father left. But this year is going to be harder. I'll try not to think about Tony, but I don't know how easy that will be.
Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye
Now tell me baby
Do you recognize me?
Well, it's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
Now I'm at a party on Christmas Eve. I can see Tony across the room talking with some of the guys from Simple Plan. Oh shit. He sees me. He's coming my way. But I can't move. I can't look away. My legs are like lead and I'm mesmerized by his beauty. He's almost here.
Merry Christmas
I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I Love You"
And meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kiss me now
I know you'll fool me again
Tony's standing in front of me. He hasn't spoken. He's just standing there with this smile that's basically a smirk on his face. He's looking me over.
"You look good, Benj," he says.
"You-You too, Tone," I reply nervously. I can feel it. He's trying to work his magic on me. I can feel myself wanting to give in. But I can't. I won't.
He moves closer so we're practically chest to chest.
"I've missed you, Benj. So much," he murmurs, his face moving forward. Just before our lips can touch, I back away.
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
Tony gives me a confused look.
"No," I tell him. "We can't."
"Why not?" he asks. "Haven't you missed me too?" He pouts, his lip ring glinting in the light.
"Yes, but-"
"But nothing, Benj." I grit my teeth.
"No, Tony," I say firmly.
His blue eyes turn icy. He makes a huffing sort of noise, looking me over once more. He flicks his lip ring before walking away. I let out the breath I wasn't aware I was holding and slump back against the wall.
A crowded room
Friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you
And your soul of ice
My god I thought you were
Someone to rely on
Me?
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
It's late, almost midnight. But this place is still crowded. The party's still rocking on. I, of course, am not feeling the jolliness of the holiday. I'm stood in a corner with my coke, hiding from Tony. But then I spot him on the dance floor. His gaze is directed my way, a smirk on his face. He's grinding against Joel. He's trying to upset me and it's working. I know Joel wouldn't do anything with Tony. Right now he's just a bit tipsy off the egg nog and enjoying the music. But seeing Tony wrap his body around my brother's is making me sick. I can't tear my eyes away though.
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover but you tore me apart
You tore me apart, ooh-ooh
Now I've found a real love
You'll never fool me again
I don't notice Billy till he's at my side.
"Hey," he says in my ear. I give a nod to acknowledge him. I'm still watching Tony and Joel and sipping my drink. Billy looks to where my gaze is. He sighs.
"You wanna get out of here?" he asks. I sniffle and realize I'm crying. I wipe my nose with the back of my hand and nod. Billy gives my back a rub, then leads me to the door.
Billy stops in the doorway and gently grabs my arm.
"Hey," he says softly.
"What?" I ask. He points a finger skyward. I look up.
Mistletoe
Billy knows my almost obsessive need to kiss people every single time I'm stood under the mistletoe with them. I look at Billy. He's looking at me shyly. I shrug. Then I square myself with him and lean in, pressing my lips softly to his.
Billy's hands go to my shoulders, holding me in place. His lips move against mine. I start to melt into this electric kiss. I pull Billy close, letting my tongue trace his plump bottom lip. He grants me entrance almost immediately. I let my tongue wander around the unfamiliar cavern. Then it moves to Billy's tongue, massaging gently.
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
I place a few gentle pecks to Billy's soft lips before pulling back to look at him. Our arms stay around each other as Billy speaks.
"I've wanted to do that for so long."
"You-You have?" I ask in surprise. Billy nods, biting his lip shyly. "Why?" Billy sighs.
"To be blunt....I'm in love with you," he says and shrugs.
"How-How long?" I ask.
"Since the day we met. It was love at first sight," he answers.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." He nods.
Billy combs his fingers through my hair.
"I hated seeing you with Tony," he tells me. "I could see what he was doing. But you were so, so in love with him." He continues running his fingers through the hair at my left temple.
Billy's face turns dead serious. He looks me in the eye as he speaks.
"I'm gonna tell you right now, Benj, I love you and I want to be with you. But most important, I'm not like Tony. I will never do what he did. I could never hurt you intentionally." He pauses. "Do you believe me?" I nod slowly.
It's true, I do believe him. Just from knowing Billy for so long and seeing the sincereity in his blue eyes, I couldn't not believe him. I trusted him. Deep in my heart.
Billy kisses me lightly.
"C'mon. Lets go home. It's Christmas," he says. Then we head to Billy's car.
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover but you tore him apart
Billy made us hot chocolate. We're sitting in front of the fire as we sip it.
"Billy," I say, yawning. "We need to go to bed or Santa won't come. You want Santa to come, right?" Billy sets his mug down on the coffee table and turns to face me. He brushes my hair back from my face as he says,
"I think Santa already brought me the best gift in the world." My eyes tear up slightly.
"Oh, Billy." The words are so soft when they leave my lips.
"Don't cry, Benj," he tells me, brushing a tear from my cheek. I kiss his hand. Then I cup his face in my palms gently.
"Santa brought my present already too," I say. I lean forward to kiss Billy softly...innocently...lovingly. Then we curl up together, holding each other tightly in front of the fire.
With Billy's small frame in my arms, I suddenly feel something I thought I'd never feel again.
"I love you, William," I tell him honestly. Billy looks back and up at me. He smiles sweetly.
"I love you too, Benji." I hold him tighter as we slowly drift to sleep. My last thoughts being that this Christmas was going to be far better than the last.
Maybe next year, I'll give it to someone
I'll give it to someone special
[the][end]
Comments?
Pairing: Benji Madden/?
Rating: PG-ish
Disclaimor: I do not know or own. This is purely fiction.
Summary: Tony was my everything. My heart...my soul...my best friend...my lover. But he never really loved me. I see that now.
Dedication: To Jerry Orbach cuz I'll miss him soooooooooooo much. I Love You. RIP. 1935 - 2004
SONG CREDIT
Song: Last Christmas
Band: WHAM!
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
Tony and I were good together. So good. Everyone thought so. Hell, so did my mom. But he never really loved me. I see that now. He used me for my love...my affection...my body. I was so blinded by love I couldn't see the forest through the trees. And last Christmas, at the end of the tour, he broke my heart.
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
Tony was my everything. My heart...my soul...my best friend...my lover. I had prepared to give him everything last Christmas. I was going to ask him to marry me. But he broke that dream. Now it's Christmas again. Christmas has always been hard for me ever since my father left. But this year is going to be harder. I'll try not to think about Tony, but I don't know how easy that will be.
Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye
Now tell me baby
Do you recognize me?
Well, it's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
Now I'm at a party on Christmas Eve. I can see Tony across the room talking with some of the guys from Simple Plan. Oh shit. He sees me. He's coming my way. But I can't move. I can't look away. My legs are like lead and I'm mesmerized by his beauty. He's almost here.
Merry Christmas
I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I Love You"
And meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kiss me now
I know you'll fool me again
Tony's standing in front of me. He hasn't spoken. He's just standing there with this smile that's basically a smirk on his face. He's looking me over.
"You look good, Benj," he says.
"You-You too, Tone," I reply nervously. I can feel it. He's trying to work his magic on me. I can feel myself wanting to give in. But I can't. I won't.
He moves closer so we're practically chest to chest.
"I've missed you, Benj. So much," he murmurs, his face moving forward. Just before our lips can touch, I back away.
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
Tony gives me a confused look.
"No," I tell him. "We can't."
"Why not?" he asks. "Haven't you missed me too?" He pouts, his lip ring glinting in the light.
"Yes, but-"
"But nothing, Benj." I grit my teeth.
"No, Tony," I say firmly.
His blue eyes turn icy. He makes a huffing sort of noise, looking me over once more. He flicks his lip ring before walking away. I let out the breath I wasn't aware I was holding and slump back against the wall.
A crowded room
Friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you
And your soul of ice
My god I thought you were
Someone to rely on
Me?
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
It's late, almost midnight. But this place is still crowded. The party's still rocking on. I, of course, am not feeling the jolliness of the holiday. I'm stood in a corner with my coke, hiding from Tony. But then I spot him on the dance floor. His gaze is directed my way, a smirk on his face. He's grinding against Joel. He's trying to upset me and it's working. I know Joel wouldn't do anything with Tony. Right now he's just a bit tipsy off the egg nog and enjoying the music. But seeing Tony wrap his body around my brother's is making me sick. I can't tear my eyes away though.
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover but you tore me apart
You tore me apart, ooh-ooh
Now I've found a real love
You'll never fool me again
I don't notice Billy till he's at my side.
"Hey," he says in my ear. I give a nod to acknowledge him. I'm still watching Tony and Joel and sipping my drink. Billy looks to where my gaze is. He sighs.
"You wanna get out of here?" he asks. I sniffle and realize I'm crying. I wipe my nose with the back of my hand and nod. Billy gives my back a rub, then leads me to the door.
Billy stops in the doorway and gently grabs my arm.
"Hey," he says softly.
"What?" I ask. He points a finger skyward. I look up.
Mistletoe
Billy knows my almost obsessive need to kiss people every single time I'm stood under the mistletoe with them. I look at Billy. He's looking at me shyly. I shrug. Then I square myself with him and lean in, pressing my lips softly to his.
Billy's hands go to my shoulders, holding me in place. His lips move against mine. I start to melt into this electric kiss. I pull Billy close, letting my tongue trace his plump bottom lip. He grants me entrance almost immediately. I let my tongue wander around the unfamiliar cavern. Then it moves to Billy's tongue, massaging gently.
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
I place a few gentle pecks to Billy's soft lips before pulling back to look at him. Our arms stay around each other as Billy speaks.
"I've wanted to do that for so long."
"You-You have?" I ask in surprise. Billy nods, biting his lip shyly. "Why?" Billy sighs.
"To be blunt....I'm in love with you," he says and shrugs.
"How-How long?" I ask.
"Since the day we met. It was love at first sight," he answers.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." He nods.
Billy combs his fingers through my hair.
"I hated seeing you with Tony," he tells me. "I could see what he was doing. But you were so, so in love with him." He continues running his fingers through the hair at my left temple.
Billy's face turns dead serious. He looks me in the eye as he speaks.
"I'm gonna tell you right now, Benj, I love you and I want to be with you. But most important, I'm not like Tony. I will never do what he did. I could never hurt you intentionally." He pauses. "Do you believe me?" I nod slowly.
It's true, I do believe him. Just from knowing Billy for so long and seeing the sincereity in his blue eyes, I couldn't not believe him. I trusted him. Deep in my heart.
Billy kisses me lightly.
"C'mon. Lets go home. It's Christmas," he says. Then we head to Billy's car.
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover but you tore him apart
Billy made us hot chocolate. We're sitting in front of the fire as we sip it.
"Billy," I say, yawning. "We need to go to bed or Santa won't come. You want Santa to come, right?" Billy sets his mug down on the coffee table and turns to face me. He brushes my hair back from my face as he says,
"I think Santa already brought me the best gift in the world." My eyes tear up slightly.
"Oh, Billy." The words are so soft when they leave my lips.
"Don't cry, Benj," he tells me, brushing a tear from my cheek. I kiss his hand. Then I cup his face in my palms gently.
"Santa brought my present already too," I say. I lean forward to kiss Billy softly...innocently...lovingly. Then we curl up together, holding each other tightly in front of the fire.
With Billy's small frame in my arms, I suddenly feel something I thought I'd never feel again.
"I love you, William," I tell him honestly. Billy looks back and up at me. He smiles sweetly.
"I love you too, Benji." I hold him tighter as we slowly drift to sleep. My last thoughts being that this Christmas was going to be far better than the last.
Maybe next year, I'll give it to someone
I'll give it to someone special
[the][end]
Comments?
