New "Trapped Inside Your Eyes" Chapter!

[writefiction]

Title/Chapter: Trapped Inside Your Eyes (05/?)
Author: amanda: jaclyn’s twin sister
Pairing: Zaylor Hanson
Rating: NC-17 (yeah, you heard right)
P.O.V.: switches back and forth but is clearly marked.
Word Count: 3,337
Previous Chapters
Notes: Sequel to Breaking Free. Starts about two weeks after Breaking Free ends.
Other Notes: Title comes from the song Time for Miracles
Summary: Andy has been keeping a secret. She cut off all ties with her best friend Zac just to keep this secret under wraps. What happens when the cat’s out of the bag? Whose lives will she take down in the process?

 

CHAPTER FIVE

TAYLOR’S POV

I’ve just given Penny her three AM feeding and put her back down in her crib. Now I’m laying curled up in the fetal position in my bed across the room from her, crying my eyes out, trying to be quiet. This is how it’s been for over a month, ever since the day Jackson was found on our doorstep. I cry myself to sleep every night wishing I was in my bed back in the home I bought with Zac, in his arms, sleeping soundly, taking turns getting up to feed Penny. But I’m not. I’m here in my childhood bedroom that I used to share with Zac, bawling because I’m not with him. And I know it’s my fault, my own stupid fault, that I’m not with him. All because I can’t get over the fact that he had a baby with another woman. A woman I gave him permission to sleep with.

As I bury my face in my pillow to muffle one of my louder sobs, I hear the door to my bedroom open. There’s a quiet shuffling of feet on the carpet. Then the mattress sinks beside me, a warm hand coming to rest on my shoulder. From the way it moves to my back, rubbing soothing circles in to my spine, I can tell it’s my mother. Her comfort just makes me cry harder, shaking with the sobs. She doesn’t say anything, just waits for me to calm down.

When I’ve been reduced to hiccups and sniffles, she finally speaks up. “Taylor, why are you doing this to yourself?”

“I’m… I’m n-not doing any-thing to my-myself,” I hiccup in to my pillow.

“It’s not Zac’s fault that you’re here miserable, crying yourself to sleep every night,” she states.

I turn my face out of my pillow to look at her in the light of the moon. “Yes, it is,” I tell her. “It’s all his fault.”

“No, it’s not, Taylor,” she says. “You both made mistakes about his relationship with Andy. Jackson is the result. You need to accept that or lose the only man you’ve ever loved.”

I sit up, crossing my legs Indian style. “But I just… I can’t look at that baby. I can’t look at him and not envision what happened to bring him in to this world.” I shake my head. “It’s just… It’s too hard.” I few more tears fall from my watery eyes.

“You have to push passed that, Sweetie,” my mother tells me. “You need to be a man and try to work things out. You can’t keep doing this to yourself or your children. Don’t you miss Jenna?” I nod, a strangled sob passing my lips. “Oh, honey.” My mom pulls me close and I weep in to her neck. “It’s going to be okay,” she murmurs, rocking me gently.

“How will it ever be okay?” I whimper.

“It will be okay because you and Zac are meant for each other,” she answers. “You have always been soul mates, ever since you were little boys, I can see that now. The two of you will find a way to work it out. But Zac is never going to give up his son for you, you need to accept that.”

“What if I can’t?” I whisper.

“Than you will become a bitter man long before your time.”

“How… How do I do this?” I ask. “How am I suppose to go back to him and be around that baby?” I ask.

“Well, first of all, you should probably refer to him by his name and not that baby,” my mother answers. “Secondly, all you need to do is try. Spend time with Jackson. I know he’ll grow on you. Your father wasn’t too keen on the idea of meeting him with what’s going on. But he did and he’s fallen head over heels for that little boy, as have I.”

“You… You love him?” I ask, pulling back to look at her.

She sighs. “Oh, Sweetie, I know that must feel like a stab in the back, but it’s truly not,” she tells me. “He is my grandson. I love him a lot. He looks just like Zac at that age.” There’s a small smile on her face. I know it’d be a full on grin if she weren’t trying to comfort me.

“I just… I’m scared, Mama. I don’t want to lose him,” I tell her. “I don’t want him to have this baby and then think it’s a good idea to be with Andy and have their own little family.” I look down at my hands, twisting my fingers together.

My mother tips my chin up so I have to look her in the eye. “Sweetie, he’s already chosen you,” she says. “He tried with Andy, but he chose you. He’s already told you that he wants you to adopt Jackson. He wants you to help raise him. He wants a family with you.”

“But what if… What if I can’t get passed it? What if I can’t learn to love him? If those things happen, I’ll definitely lose him and I’ll lose him for good. It’s not like he’ll give me a million chances,” I tell her.

She smiles softly and gently strokes my cheek. “Honey, you’ll never know unless you try,” she replies. “And I’m sure that’s all Zac is asking from you at the moment: that you try. I’m sure he understands this will be hard for you. Just give it a chance.”

“So what do I do?” I sniff.

“You get some rest,” she tells me. “Then in the morning, you pack up all your things and your little girl and you go to your husband. You go to him and tell him how stupid you’ve been and then you make up with him. You tell him you love him and that you are willing to try because you can’t live without him.”

I nod. “Then that’s what I’ll do.” I look at my mother with gratitude. “Thanks, Ma. I needed this.”

“You’re welcome, Sweetie,” she replies hugging me tightly. “Now you get some rest. Penny will want to eat soon and you’ve got a big morning ahead of you.”

I nod again. “Goodnight, Mama.”

“Goodnight, my sweet boy,” she murmurs, kissing me on the head as I snuggle down under the blankets. I sigh quietly, watching her leave and close the door behind her. Then I close my eyes and drift in to a peaceful sleep, only waking when Penny calls out to be fed.

　

ZAC’S POV

I quietly back out of my bedroom taking the baby monitor with me. Both of my children are having their post lunch naps in my room. Poor Jenna hasn’t been able to sleep in her bed since Taylor walked out on us. She’d throw a tantrum whenever I tried to put her in her bed, so I started letting her fall asleep in my room and then move her to hers. But she would later wake up sobbing, calling out for Taylor and would not calm down until she was in bed with me. Eventually I was tired of stressing her out and I didn’t want her to think I was being cruel, so I gave in and let her sleep in my bed at all times; for her naps and overnight. She definitely liked being in the same room as her brother, who she adores more than anything.

As I pass by the front door I hear a car door slam. I look out the peep hole to see Taylor with Penny in her carrier, coming towards the house. I wait with baited breath as he walks up to the front door and just stands there nervously. He raises his hand to knock, but then lets it drop, his head hanging. I really can’t wait for him to get his courage up, I need to know why he’s here. I unlock the door and twist the knob, wrenching the door open. Apparently I caught him off guard by the surprise on his face.

“I… I was just…” he stammers.

I quirk my head to the side. “Are you going to come in or stand out there in the cold?” I ask.

He smiles sheepishly. “I’ll come in… if that’s okay with you?” I nod, stepping out of the way. “Do you mind if I go put her down in her crib?”

I shake my head. “No, not at all. Go right ahead.” I watch with curiosity as Taylor makes his way upstairs. When he rounds the corner and is out of sight, I make my way over to the couch to sit, wiping my sweaty palms on the legs of my pants. What could he want? What is he doing here? I hope he’s not going to try to convince me to give Jackson away because I’m definitely not budging on that one.

So many thoughts are running through my head that I don’t notice Taylor has come back downstairs until he’s sitting on the coffee table across from me. I lean back in to the couch and cross my arms over my chest, my body tense. “What are you doing here?” I ask, my voice portraying the obvious shield I’m holding up between us.

Taylor sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “I can’t do this anymore, Zac,” he says. “I can’t cry myself to sleep every night wishing I was in our bed with you. I need you, Zac. You are my whole world and I don’t know how to do this without you.”

“That’s great,” I tell him. “Now get to the point.”

Taylor rubs his palms nervously against his thighs. “So here’s the thing: I want to work this out. I want to be with you again. I want to come back home.”

“I told you, Taylor, I’m not willing to give up my son,” I state, clenching my jaw.

“This time, I’m not asking you to,” Taylor replies.

I look at him in silence for a moment, completely shocked. “You… you aren’t?”

My husband shakes his head. “No, I’m not. If the roles were reversed, you’d never ask me to choose you over my child. I never should have asked you to do that in the first place. That was so stupid of me. I can’t believe how big of an asshole I am.” He shakes his head in disgrace, his hair falling in his eyes. I lean forward to brush it back. I want to see those clear blue eyes of his so I can know he’s telling the truth. “I’m so sorry, Zac,” he murmurs. “I never meant to hurt you and I know I did. I was being selfish. I…” He pauses and takes a breath. “I’m scared that now that you have Jackson, you’ll want to find Andy and be a happy little family with her.” He bites his lip, looking at me nervously.

I scoot forward on the couch so our knees are almost touching and I take his hands in mine, giving them a squeeze. “It’s you, Tay. Only you. I promise.”

Taylor nods, his clear eyes filling with tears. “That’s… that’s good to know.” A tear slips down his cheek and I catch it with the pad of my thumb.

“What’s wrong?” I ask gently, letting my guard down finally.

“I just… I don’t know if I can do this,” he says.

“Do what?”

“Get over the fact that you had a baby with Andy,” he mumbles. “I mean, before I could forget about that, but now, with Jackson… He’s a big reminder. I can’t guarantee that this will work. But I want to try. I want to get passed seeing him as a reminder and just seeing him as a cute little baby, ya know?”

I nod. “So you want to try?” I ask.

Taylor nods. “Yes, I want to try and I want it to work so badly.” He pauses. “But I’m so scared, Zac.”

“Of what?”

“I’m scared that I won’t be able to accept him. And if I can’t accept him, I can’t be with you,” he explains. “And that is exactly what I don’t want. I love you so much and I’ve lived without you and to be quite honest, I hated every moment of it.”

“So did I,” I chuckle. “I was so miserable without you.”

“Same here,” Taylor replies. “And not just that, but I was miserable without my little girl. I missed her so much it hurt.”

“She’s missed you too,” I tell him quietly, rubbing my thumb over his knuckles.

“I feel awful about the way I left that day, just ignoring her like that. I feel like the scum of the earth,” he says, hanging his head. I tug him closer and he climbs in to my lap, letting me hug him tightly.

“You’re not the scum of the earth,” I murmur in his ear. “You just made a mistake. One that you’re going to make up for by giving her lots of hugs and kisses and cuddles.”

Taylor nods. “Definitely. I can’t wait till she wakes up.” There’s a beat of silence. “Why is she sleeping in our room?”

I sigh. “She hasn’t been able to sleep in her bed since you left. So the three of us sleep in there together.” I shrug.

Taylor’s eyes tear up. “I’m so sorry,” he says. “So, so sorry.”

I kiss the tears off his cheeks and hug him tightly. “It’s okay, baby,” I murmur. “You’re here now and you want to work things out. That’s all that matters.”

“You sure?” he sniffles.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” I nod. “You’re it for me, Tay, and I’ve missed you so much.” I touch his face lightly with my fingertips, then cup his jaw, pulling him in for a much needed kiss.

He melts in to my embrace, his lips moving slowly and softly against mine. I sigh through my nose, digging one hand in to his hair, the other gripping his waist tightly. “I love you,” he murmurs against my lips.

“I love you too,” I tell him. “Just don’t ever leave me again.”

“I’m gonna try so hard, Zac, so hard,” he whispers. “I don’t ever want to be apart again. I will try so hard to make this work. I can make this work.” My heart swells at the determination in his voice, urging me to pull his cotton shirt off over his head. I lick and nibble at his nipples till they’re hard little nubs and his head his thrown back in pleasure. I take the chance to attack his throat with kisses, licks and nips, sucking lightly on his Adam’s apple.

Taylor pulls my face back to his, kissing me hard, his tongue searching every inch of the forgotten territory. I moan quietly when his tongue tickles the roof of my mouth, his hands sliding under my shirt and pushing it up. We only break apart long enough to get my shirt off and throw it aside.

I pull my husband close, enjoying the feel of his skin on mine. “I missed you so much,” I murmur.

“Mm. Missed you,” Taylor replies, nibbling at my earlobe. I reach down and pop the button on his jeans, slowly sliding down the zipper. My lover stands and we peel his tight jeans off legs. My mouth waters when I see his raging hard-on encased inside his navy boxer-briefs.

“C’mere,” I murmur, reaching out to him.

“Not yet,” he breathes, leaning down to undo my pants. I lift my hips, wiggling out of the jeans, letting Taylor toss them to some unknown part of the room. Then he climbs back on my lap, wrapping his arms tightly around my neck. I quickly shift us, laying my husband down on his back on our leather couch. He gives me a soft smile as I position myself between his legs and capture his lips with mine. We kiss each other hungrily, our pricks getting harder with each swipe of tongue and every nip of teeth.

Soon our briefs are gone and I’m wondering where the nearest bottle of lube is. But Taylor takes care of the problem, pushing me back on my haunches and taking my hard flesh in his mouth. He slurps and sucks bathing my cock with as much saliva as possible.

I finally have to push him away, too long with little contact is not helping me last. I lay Taylor back down gently and hook his legs over my hips. “Are you sure you don’t want me to prep you?” I ask, biting my lip.

He shakes his head. “I’ve waited too long for you, I don’t want to waste anymore time.”

I nod. “I’ll be as gentle as possible.” Taylor leans up to kiss me as I gently nudge my slick cock at his tight hole. Once I get past that first tight ring of muscle, it’s like his body just sucks me the rest of the way in. I hover over him, panting, wanting so badly to just start fucking him but knowing if I don’t let myself calm down a little, this will be over before it really gets started. So I just lay against my husband, kissing him languidly.

“I’ve missed this,” I murmur against his lips.

“Mm, me too,” he replies softly, his fingers stroking through my hair. He scratches lightly at my scalp and I can’t help leaning in to the touch. As I do so, Taylor rolls his hips upwards, making me groan. I nip at the pulse in his neck and begin slow, short thrusts. Taylor moans quietly, clamping his legs around my waist, pulling me in deeper. He feels so amazing surrounding my hard cock.

“Are you alright?” I ask. “Can I…?”

Taylor nods vigorously. “Yes! Please! Faster!” With this demand I pull out almost completely and smoothly slide back in, hitting his prostate dead on by the silent scream on his lips. I smother his mouth with my own as I set a strong steady rhythm, in and out, over and over. My lover begins to rock his hips in time with mine, his muscles stroking me in all the right ways. “Oh god, Zac,” he mumbles in to my shoulder. “Don’t stop.”

“Don’t think I can,” I reply, thrusting a bit harder.

“Oh, yes! Just like that!” Taylor exclaims, which only urges me on, pounding him in to the couch cushions. It’s been such a long time since we’ve been together and I’ve missed the feel of his body below mine. The feel of being inside him. I’ve missed it all. But now that I’ve got the chance to be with him, I’m going to use every ounce of energy I have to give him the best orgasm of his life.

“Oh, Zac! So! Close!” he mumbles in to my neck. He sucks hard at my pulse making me shudder.

“Fuck, Tay,” I gasp.

“Oh! Oh! Ohhhhhh!” Taylor comes long and hard between us, coating our stomachs with his milky pleasure. His muscles clamp down on my throbbing prick and after two hard calculated thrusts, I come undone, pistoning my hips while my warm seed flows in to my lover.

“I love you, Tay,” I mumble against his mouth, trying to kiss him and catch my breath all at the same time.

“I… love you… too,” he gasps between breaths. Then we just lay there, waiting for our heart rates to slow and our lungs to fill with air.

After a moment I hear Jackson through the baby monitor, then Jenna talking to him. “That’s my cue,” I say, slowly disentangling myself from my husband. He takes my hand and leads me to the downstairs powder room and gently wipes the cum off my belly, then does the same to himself. We share a sweet, loving kiss and head back to the living room to get dressed.

 

Comments

[cocohanson.livejournal.com]

That was really good. :-) I'm glad Taylor is gonna try to accept Jackson 'cause I seriously don't think I could handle it if he and Zac weren't together. :-( LOL. Nice update! More soon please. ♥

[writefiction.livejournal.com]

Did you really expect me to keep them apart forever? haha

[rachie-grl6.livejournal.com]

So glad Tay's gonna give little Jackson a chance, and of course Zac is willing to take him back. These two belong together! And the sex is amazing...love it!

[writefiction.livejournal.com]

:)

I told you there was smut! Hopefully there will be more to come. lol

[rachie-grl6.livejournal.com]

love your icon too, I haven't played with sidewalk chalk in forever!