Song to Sing Chapter 12!
Jul. 12th, 2010 11:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
writefictionTitle/Chapter: Song to Sing (12/??)
Author: amanda: jaclyn’s twin sister
Pairing: Zac / OFC: Olivia
Genre: Love / Romance / AU
Rating: PG-13
P.O.V.: first person, switches back and forth but is clearly marked.
Notes: This is written for the Hanfic Genre Challenge
Other Notes: Sequel to Collide
Word Count: 2,424
Warning: vomit and an eff word
Previous Chapters
Summary: After The Walk Tour ‘08, Olivia and the rest of Late Night Romance move down to Tulsa so Olivia can be with Zac. After entering her second trimester, there’s a tragic loss that sends Olivia in to a devastating depression that puts a huge strain on her relationship with Zac. Will they be able to overcome this hardship or will it destroy them?
CHAPTER TWELVE
ZAC’S POV
I wake with a pounding headache and groan. I don’t know what time it is, or even what day it is. All I know for sure is that it’s dark in the room and there’s a soothing hand running up and down my back. “How’re you feeling?” a familiar voice, one I’m shocked to hear, asks.
I turn on to my back and slowly open my eyes to the darkness of the room. Sitting beside me on the bed is Olivia, her sandy blond hair flowing down over her shoulders. “Liv?” I ask, thinking this must be some sort of mirage. “Is it really you?”
She smiles gently at me. “Yeah, baby, it’s really me. How do you feel?”
I sigh. “My head is fucking killing me.”
Olivia nods. “Let me get you some Excedrin and some water. Do you have any soda crackers?” I shrug. “Okay, well, I’ll look for some. Be back in a jiff.” She climbs off the bed, gently moving around me so as not to jostle me around too much. She stands at the side of the bed for a moment, just looking down at me. She brushes my sweaty bangs back from my head and leans down to kiss my forehead. “I’ll be right back,” she murmurs.
“Hurry,” I reply quietly. She smiles, giving me a little nod, then quickly leaves the room. I sigh and kick the blankets off of me, feeling a little too hot for comfort. I close my eyes again and just wait.
After a while Olivia comes back to the room. She hands me two Excedrin and a bottle of water. “Take these,” she commands gently. I pop the pills in to my mouth and take a long swallow of my water. Olivia climbs up on the bed and hands me a little plastic dish of oyster crackers. “Don’t eat these too fast,” she says. “Just nibble on them, okay?” I nod and pop one of the little crackers in to my mouth. I suck all the salt off of it before chewing slowly and swallowing. I wait to see how it feels in my stomach and then pop another in my mouth, doing the same with this one; suck, chew, swallow. “You okay?” Olivia asks. “Your stomach taking those crackers alright?” I nod, continuing to eat slowly and sip at my water.
About thirty minutes of silence goes by, all my oyster crackers have been eaten and half of my water is gone. I look over at Liv and she reaches out to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. “How’s your head feeling?” she asks.
“Better,” I murmur quietly.
She nods. “That’s good.” Then she looks away for a moment, chewing on her lower lip. I can’t help wondering why she’s here, how long she’s been here and why she’s taking care of me. I can’t help wondering what she’s thinking. She turns back to me then, a frown on her face. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs. “I’m sorry I pushed you in to a bottle.”
I shake my head. “No, Liv, it’s not your fault,” I tell her. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It was my own stupidity for drinking so much and getting drunk. Don’t be sorry, okay?” She nods slowly and we lapse in to silence. I worry my lower lip between my teeth for a moment, then say, “So what are you doing here, Liv?”
She looks at me and moves closer, brushing her fingers through my hair. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs again. I go to speak but she stops me by placing a finger to my lips. “No, listen,” she says. “I’m sorry I hurt you before… with Aaron. I’m so sorry for that but I can’t take it back no matter how badly I want to. But I can make it up to you.”
I furrow my brow. “How?”
“By loving you,” she answers. “By getting better, which I am. I’m doing so much better. I’m writing music again and we’ve got a gig coming up and I’m just so excited!” She pauses for a second. “But none of it really means anything without you, ya know?” She looks down at her hands, twisting her fingers together.
“Yeah, I do know,” I murmur. Olivia’s head whips up to look at me and she cocks an eyebrow. I reach over and take her hands in mine. “For the longest time I was so hurt and I didn’t know what to do. But then I healed I think when I met Kate.” Her beautiful face twists with pain. “Just listen,” I murmur, reaching out to stroke her cheek. She nods in response.
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “I don’t know what it was about her, but she did something to me.” I stop and look at Olivia. “This may be hard to hear, but I think you need to hear it.”
Olivia nods. “Go on.”
I give a short nod. “See, the thing is, I never thought I’d love again after what you did to me. But she gave me this new-found hope that it was okay to let someone back in to my heart. But the thing was, she wasn’t the one my heart wanted. All this time it was you. Ever since that afternoon with you, you are all I think about. I wrote that song right after I kicked you out. A few days later I broke up with Kate and when I left, I just drove, trying to think. But I ended up at your house. I think it was God’s way of kicking me in the ass and telling me what I needed to do. But then you…” I shrug, looking down at our hands.
“I freaked out on you,” she finishes quietly. I nod looking back up at her. “I was confused,” she explains. “I wanted you so much, and here you were giving yourself to me again, but I couldn’t handle it. I cheated with Aaron and I was the bad guy. You cheated with me and I was once again the bad guy. I just… I didn’t…” She trails off, shaking her head and I see the tears in her eyes.
I move closer, cupping the side of her face in my large hand. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I was the bad guy in that last situation. I shouldn’t have cheated. I should have waited. But you were right there and it was just…” I sigh, shaking my head.
“I know,” Olivia whispers.
I move even closer till I’m practically sitting on top of her, our foreheads touching. “You’re the only one I want. You’re the only one I need. Do you believe me?” Olivia nods, tears rolling down her face. “What’s wrong?” I murmur.
“I just… is this really happening?” she asks, green eyes wide. “Are we really getting back together?”
“I hope so. I mean, that’s what I want to happen. Is it what you want?”
Olivia nods. “God yes,” she breathes. “I’ve wanted it since New Years. Since the moment you left the house. I wanted to run after you, but I couldn’t. I thought I had screwed up royally. Little did I know that would happen later that day.” She sniffs and I lean in, catching her tears on my lips.
“It’s okay, Livvie, you don’t need to cry anymore. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere this time. We’ll make it through any hard stuff that comes our way. I promise.”
“I… I have something to tell you,” she says, sounding hesitant and scared.
“What is it, baby?” I ask her quietly.
“I um… Oh god.” She jumps up and runs to the master bath. I get up and follow her, though I can only move slowly as I’m still not feeling quite up to par.
When I get to the bathroom, I find Olivia bent over the toilet. “Liv!” I gasp, hurrying over to her and pulling her hair back. “Are you okay?” I ask once she sits back on her haunches. She nods, wiping her mouth with a piece of toilet paper. She tosses the paper in to the bowl and flushes. Then she turns and leans back against the side of the tub, closing her eyes.
“Can you get me some water and my purse?” she asks. I nod and quickly go to find the things she’s asked for. I bring them to her, kneeling down beside the love of my life.
“Here,” I murmur handing her the bottle of water from the fridge and her purse. She digs around in the bag and pulls out a little prescription bottle. She reads the label and then pops the cap off and shakes out two pills. She places them on her tongue and takes a swig of water. “Are you okay?” I ask again.
Olivia nods. “Can you help me back to the bed?”
I nod. “Of course.” I take her by the hand and slowly help her to her feet. I guide her out to the bedroom and help her up on to the bed. Then I tuck her under the covers and lay down beside her. “What’s going on?” I ask quietly. “What were those pills you took? Do they have to do with what you need to tell me?” Olivia nods, tears in her eyes. “Babe, what’s wrong?” I ask again, pushing her hair back from her face.
“I just… I was puking violently for an hour this morning until Aaron took me to the ER,” she explains. “I took a test and it… it came back positive.” Those words send a shiver of fear through my body. What did she test positive for? Is she dying? “Zac, I’m pregnant,” she says and holds her breath.
“What?” I ask quietly, not sure I heard her right.
“I’m pregnant,” she says again. “I’m having really bad morning sickness and those pills are anti-nausea pills.” I nod slowly. “Zac, say something. Say anything. Tell me you hate me. I don’t care, just say something.”
I take a slow, deep breath and look at Olivia. “I’m scared,” I whisper.
Olivia’s eyes tear up. “Me too,” she whispers back.
“If we lose this baby…” I shake my head. “I don’t want to lose you again either.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Zac,” she tells me. “And I’m not losing this baby.” She sounds so determined and it makes my heart swell with love for her. “I am willing to do anything to not miscarriage.”
I lean in, pressing my lips softly to hers. “Move back in with me,” I murmur. “This has always been your home. That’s why I couldn’t stay here after we broke up. That’s why I stayed with Tay. I couldn’t be here without you. Please move back.”
“Of course,” she answers. “Hey, there are two DVDs in my bag. Mind getting one out? They’re both the same, so it doesn’t matter which one you bring to me.”
I nod. “Okay.” I get up and go back in to the bathroom where we left the purse. I carry it in to the bedroom, searching through it. I find the DVDs and take one out, placing the bag on the floor next to the bed. I go over to my TV, turning it on and put the DVD in to the player. I grab the remote and go back over to the bed, curling up next to my girlfriend. “What is this?” I ask her as I hit play. There hadn’t been any sort of clue on the DVD or the case.
“Just wait and see,” she murmurs. This weird blue and black screen comes up on the TV and a thump-thump-thump comes from the speakers.
“Liv?” I ask.
“See that little white arrow pointing to that black kidney bean shaped spot?” she asks, pointing to the screen. I nod. “That’s our baby. And that drum beat you hear is the heart beat,” she tells me.
My eyes tear up and I choke on a sob. “That’s… That’s amazing,” I say in awe. Olivia rubs my arm gently. “That’s really our baby and it’s heart beat?”
Liv nods. “It really is.” There’s a pause. “What do you think?”
“This is what I think,” I murmur, guiding her face towards mine, our lips connecting softly. “I love you,” I whisper.
“I love you too,” she replies, tears rolling silently down her face. I kiss them away, so happy to have her back. “So um, other than being scared… How do you feel about the baby?” She pulls her bottom lip in to her mouth, chewing on it gently.
I smile and tuck her hair behind her ear. “I think it’s amazing,” I tell her honestly. “This is always what I’ve wanted for us. I’ve always wanted us to have a family, you know that.” She nods. “But I really am scared. I don’t want to lose either of you. I’m not sure I could handle it.”
“I’m not going anywhere no matter what,” Olivia tells me. “If… God forbid we actually lose this baby too, it’s going to suck so bad. But it’ll be different this time. We’ll be prepared for the emotions that will hit us, we’ll be able to get through it better, I just know it. But really, there’s no way in hell I’m losing this one, you got that?”
I can’t help grinning. “I love your determination.”
“If you were me, you’d be just as determined.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I kind of feel helpless that there’s nothing I can do to make sure everything will be okay, ya know?” Olivia nods. “It’s up to you, but I don’t want that burden to be on your shoulders, all on your shoulders.”
The petite singer leans her head on my shoulder, pressing close. “But it has to be,” she says quietly. “I’m the only one of us that can carry this baby. All I need is for you to be here, to take care of me. That’ll help the burden.”
“Are you sure?”
Liv nods. “Yes, I’m sure.”
I kiss the top of her head. “I love you. Can you forgive me for taking so long to realize I can’t live without you?”
She giggles lightly. “Of course I forgive you, silly. And I love you too. You’re my world.” I smile happily and wrap my arms around her, turning my gaze back to the TV screen, back to our new baby, our new beginning.
& & & & &
Stay Tuned for Chapter 13!
Comments and ConCrit are always appreciated.
Author: amanda: jaclyn’s twin sister
Pairing: Zac / OFC: Olivia
Genre: Love / Romance / AU
Rating: PG-13
P.O.V.: first person, switches back and forth but is clearly marked.
Notes: This is written for the Hanfic Genre Challenge
Other Notes: Sequel to Collide
Word Count: 2,424
Warning: vomit and an eff word
Previous Chapters
Summary: After The Walk Tour ‘08, Olivia and the rest of Late Night Romance move down to Tulsa so Olivia can be with Zac. After entering her second trimester, there’s a tragic loss that sends Olivia in to a devastating depression that puts a huge strain on her relationship with Zac. Will they be able to overcome this hardship or will it destroy them?
CHAPTER TWELVE
ZAC’S POV
I wake with a pounding headache and groan. I don’t know what time it is, or even what day it is. All I know for sure is that it’s dark in the room and there’s a soothing hand running up and down my back. “How’re you feeling?” a familiar voice, one I’m shocked to hear, asks.
I turn on to my back and slowly open my eyes to the darkness of the room. Sitting beside me on the bed is Olivia, her sandy blond hair flowing down over her shoulders. “Liv?” I ask, thinking this must be some sort of mirage. “Is it really you?”
She smiles gently at me. “Yeah, baby, it’s really me. How do you feel?”
I sigh. “My head is fucking killing me.”
Olivia nods. “Let me get you some Excedrin and some water. Do you have any soda crackers?” I shrug. “Okay, well, I’ll look for some. Be back in a jiff.” She climbs off the bed, gently moving around me so as not to jostle me around too much. She stands at the side of the bed for a moment, just looking down at me. She brushes my sweaty bangs back from my head and leans down to kiss my forehead. “I’ll be right back,” she murmurs.
“Hurry,” I reply quietly. She smiles, giving me a little nod, then quickly leaves the room. I sigh and kick the blankets off of me, feeling a little too hot for comfort. I close my eyes again and just wait.
After a while Olivia comes back to the room. She hands me two Excedrin and a bottle of water. “Take these,” she commands gently. I pop the pills in to my mouth and take a long swallow of my water. Olivia climbs up on the bed and hands me a little plastic dish of oyster crackers. “Don’t eat these too fast,” she says. “Just nibble on them, okay?” I nod and pop one of the little crackers in to my mouth. I suck all the salt off of it before chewing slowly and swallowing. I wait to see how it feels in my stomach and then pop another in my mouth, doing the same with this one; suck, chew, swallow. “You okay?” Olivia asks. “Your stomach taking those crackers alright?” I nod, continuing to eat slowly and sip at my water.
About thirty minutes of silence goes by, all my oyster crackers have been eaten and half of my water is gone. I look over at Liv and she reaches out to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. “How’s your head feeling?” she asks.
“Better,” I murmur quietly.
She nods. “That’s good.” Then she looks away for a moment, chewing on her lower lip. I can’t help wondering why she’s here, how long she’s been here and why she’s taking care of me. I can’t help wondering what she’s thinking. She turns back to me then, a frown on her face. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs. “I’m sorry I pushed you in to a bottle.”
I shake my head. “No, Liv, it’s not your fault,” I tell her. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It was my own stupidity for drinking so much and getting drunk. Don’t be sorry, okay?” She nods slowly and we lapse in to silence. I worry my lower lip between my teeth for a moment, then say, “So what are you doing here, Liv?”
She looks at me and moves closer, brushing her fingers through my hair. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs again. I go to speak but she stops me by placing a finger to my lips. “No, listen,” she says. “I’m sorry I hurt you before… with Aaron. I’m so sorry for that but I can’t take it back no matter how badly I want to. But I can make it up to you.”
I furrow my brow. “How?”
“By loving you,” she answers. “By getting better, which I am. I’m doing so much better. I’m writing music again and we’ve got a gig coming up and I’m just so excited!” She pauses for a second. “But none of it really means anything without you, ya know?” She looks down at her hands, twisting her fingers together.
“Yeah, I do know,” I murmur. Olivia’s head whips up to look at me and she cocks an eyebrow. I reach over and take her hands in mine. “For the longest time I was so hurt and I didn’t know what to do. But then I healed I think when I met Kate.” Her beautiful face twists with pain. “Just listen,” I murmur, reaching out to stroke her cheek. She nods in response.
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “I don’t know what it was about her, but she did something to me.” I stop and look at Olivia. “This may be hard to hear, but I think you need to hear it.”
Olivia nods. “Go on.”
I give a short nod. “See, the thing is, I never thought I’d love again after what you did to me. But she gave me this new-found hope that it was okay to let someone back in to my heart. But the thing was, she wasn’t the one my heart wanted. All this time it was you. Ever since that afternoon with you, you are all I think about. I wrote that song right after I kicked you out. A few days later I broke up with Kate and when I left, I just drove, trying to think. But I ended up at your house. I think it was God’s way of kicking me in the ass and telling me what I needed to do. But then you…” I shrug, looking down at our hands.
“I freaked out on you,” she finishes quietly. I nod looking back up at her. “I was confused,” she explains. “I wanted you so much, and here you were giving yourself to me again, but I couldn’t handle it. I cheated with Aaron and I was the bad guy. You cheated with me and I was once again the bad guy. I just… I didn’t…” She trails off, shaking her head and I see the tears in her eyes.
I move closer, cupping the side of her face in my large hand. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I was the bad guy in that last situation. I shouldn’t have cheated. I should have waited. But you were right there and it was just…” I sigh, shaking my head.
“I know,” Olivia whispers.
I move even closer till I’m practically sitting on top of her, our foreheads touching. “You’re the only one I want. You’re the only one I need. Do you believe me?” Olivia nods, tears rolling down her face. “What’s wrong?” I murmur.
“I just… is this really happening?” she asks, green eyes wide. “Are we really getting back together?”
“I hope so. I mean, that’s what I want to happen. Is it what you want?”
Olivia nods. “God yes,” she breathes. “I’ve wanted it since New Years. Since the moment you left the house. I wanted to run after you, but I couldn’t. I thought I had screwed up royally. Little did I know that would happen later that day.” She sniffs and I lean in, catching her tears on my lips.
“It’s okay, Livvie, you don’t need to cry anymore. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere this time. We’ll make it through any hard stuff that comes our way. I promise.”
“I… I have something to tell you,” she says, sounding hesitant and scared.
“What is it, baby?” I ask her quietly.
“I um… Oh god.” She jumps up and runs to the master bath. I get up and follow her, though I can only move slowly as I’m still not feeling quite up to par.
When I get to the bathroom, I find Olivia bent over the toilet. “Liv!” I gasp, hurrying over to her and pulling her hair back. “Are you okay?” I ask once she sits back on her haunches. She nods, wiping her mouth with a piece of toilet paper. She tosses the paper in to the bowl and flushes. Then she turns and leans back against the side of the tub, closing her eyes.
“Can you get me some water and my purse?” she asks. I nod and quickly go to find the things she’s asked for. I bring them to her, kneeling down beside the love of my life.
“Here,” I murmur handing her the bottle of water from the fridge and her purse. She digs around in the bag and pulls out a little prescription bottle. She reads the label and then pops the cap off and shakes out two pills. She places them on her tongue and takes a swig of water. “Are you okay?” I ask again.
Olivia nods. “Can you help me back to the bed?”
I nod. “Of course.” I take her by the hand and slowly help her to her feet. I guide her out to the bedroom and help her up on to the bed. Then I tuck her under the covers and lay down beside her. “What’s going on?” I ask quietly. “What were those pills you took? Do they have to do with what you need to tell me?” Olivia nods, tears in her eyes. “Babe, what’s wrong?” I ask again, pushing her hair back from her face.
“I just… I was puking violently for an hour this morning until Aaron took me to the ER,” she explains. “I took a test and it… it came back positive.” Those words send a shiver of fear through my body. What did she test positive for? Is she dying? “Zac, I’m pregnant,” she says and holds her breath.
“What?” I ask quietly, not sure I heard her right.
“I’m pregnant,” she says again. “I’m having really bad morning sickness and those pills are anti-nausea pills.” I nod slowly. “Zac, say something. Say anything. Tell me you hate me. I don’t care, just say something.”
I take a slow, deep breath and look at Olivia. “I’m scared,” I whisper.
Olivia’s eyes tear up. “Me too,” she whispers back.
“If we lose this baby…” I shake my head. “I don’t want to lose you again either.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Zac,” she tells me. “And I’m not losing this baby.” She sounds so determined and it makes my heart swell with love for her. “I am willing to do anything to not miscarriage.”
I lean in, pressing my lips softly to hers. “Move back in with me,” I murmur. “This has always been your home. That’s why I couldn’t stay here after we broke up. That’s why I stayed with Tay. I couldn’t be here without you. Please move back.”
“Of course,” she answers. “Hey, there are two DVDs in my bag. Mind getting one out? They’re both the same, so it doesn’t matter which one you bring to me.”
I nod. “Okay.” I get up and go back in to the bathroom where we left the purse. I carry it in to the bedroom, searching through it. I find the DVDs and take one out, placing the bag on the floor next to the bed. I go over to my TV, turning it on and put the DVD in to the player. I grab the remote and go back over to the bed, curling up next to my girlfriend. “What is this?” I ask her as I hit play. There hadn’t been any sort of clue on the DVD or the case.
“Just wait and see,” she murmurs. This weird blue and black screen comes up on the TV and a thump-thump-thump comes from the speakers.
“Liv?” I ask.
“See that little white arrow pointing to that black kidney bean shaped spot?” she asks, pointing to the screen. I nod. “That’s our baby. And that drum beat you hear is the heart beat,” she tells me.
My eyes tear up and I choke on a sob. “That’s… That’s amazing,” I say in awe. Olivia rubs my arm gently. “That’s really our baby and it’s heart beat?”
Liv nods. “It really is.” There’s a pause. “What do you think?”
“This is what I think,” I murmur, guiding her face towards mine, our lips connecting softly. “I love you,” I whisper.
“I love you too,” she replies, tears rolling silently down her face. I kiss them away, so happy to have her back. “So um, other than being scared… How do you feel about the baby?” She pulls her bottom lip in to her mouth, chewing on it gently.
I smile and tuck her hair behind her ear. “I think it’s amazing,” I tell her honestly. “This is always what I’ve wanted for us. I’ve always wanted us to have a family, you know that.” She nods. “But I really am scared. I don’t want to lose either of you. I’m not sure I could handle it.”
“I’m not going anywhere no matter what,” Olivia tells me. “If… God forbid we actually lose this baby too, it’s going to suck so bad. But it’ll be different this time. We’ll be prepared for the emotions that will hit us, we’ll be able to get through it better, I just know it. But really, there’s no way in hell I’m losing this one, you got that?”
I can’t help grinning. “I love your determination.”
“If you were me, you’d be just as determined.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I kind of feel helpless that there’s nothing I can do to make sure everything will be okay, ya know?” Olivia nods. “It’s up to you, but I don’t want that burden to be on your shoulders, all on your shoulders.”
The petite singer leans her head on my shoulder, pressing close. “But it has to be,” she says quietly. “I’m the only one of us that can carry this baby. All I need is for you to be here, to take care of me. That’ll help the burden.”
“Are you sure?”
Liv nods. “Yes, I’m sure.”
I kiss the top of her head. “I love you. Can you forgive me for taking so long to realize I can’t live without you?”
She giggles lightly. “Of course I forgive you, silly. And I love you too. You’re my world.” I smile happily and wrap my arms around her, turning my gaze back to the TV screen, back to our new baby, our new beginning.
& & & & &
Stay Tuned for Chapter 13!
Comments and ConCrit are always appreciated.
