Glamberts Big Bang Chapter 08

[writefiction]

Title/Chapter: Kiss Away the Pain (08/16+Epilogue)
Author: amanda: jaclyn’s twin sister
Beta: mindchnger 
Artists: peculiar_mind / gargoyles42 /
Fandom: American Idol
Pairing: Adam Lambert / OFC [Luxe]
Rating: R
P.O.V.: First Person, OFC: Luxe (it switched back!)
Warning: strong language
Word Count: 1,892
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Summary: Luxe and Adam have been best friends since Hollywood Week, but now that tour rehearsals have begun, Adam is finding out things he'd never know about his friend. Things that no one should have to go through. Can Adam be her Knight in Shining Armor? Or will he be the support Luxe needs to overcome her fears and help herself?

LUXE’S POV

We’ve been on tour for exactly one month now and while every show is amazing and the fans are more than I could have ever asked for, it’s also terrifying. Jackson has followed us to every city the bus stops in. He tries his damnedest to get in to every show. I still can’t figure out how he got the tickets since technically it’s a crime. Hell, he’s been committing a month-long crime following me around. You could probably consider this stalking, except he never gets close. My friends and the security have been protecting me quite adequately and I’m forever grateful. I’m also grateful for the privacy. The rest of the Idols are on a need to know basis so all they’ve been told is that there’s a security breach. I’m pretty sure it’s pissing Lil off the most. She gets so frustrated when we go on stage late. If only she knew…

Late in the afternoon there’s a knock on the hotel room door. My spine stiffens, my whole body going tense. Baize gets up to see who it is. He’s been staying with Adam and I, sleeping in my bed while I share with Adam. As Baize walks up to the door, Adam, Kris and Allison all move around me in a protective circle. While it’s kind of ridiculous, it makes me feel a wee bit better.

“Who is it?” Baize calls through the door.

“It’s Lil,” Lil answers. “And the rest of the Idols. Let us in now. We’ve got a bone to pick with those four.”

Baize looks over at us, huddled together. “This is your call guys, not mine,” he says.

“Let ‘em in,” I murmur. The other three relax their positions around me as my handler unlocks and opens the door. As soon as he does, Lil comes marching in to the room followed by five more Idols.

“What the hell is going on?” she demands.

“We’re hanging out,” Allison answers with a ‘duh’ kind of a voice.

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Lil replies. “I’m talking about all the security breaches. We know that it has something to do with you.” She nods her head in my direction. “So what the hell is going on?”

Adam clenches his hands at his sides as he stands, his jaw set. “It’s none of your fucking business, Lil,” he snarls.

“Like hell it’s my business!” Lil exclaims. “It’s all of our business. It effects the tour and we’re all the stars of this thing so it effects us all! So don’t give me this bullshit. Tell  us what’s going on. Now.”

I see that Adam’s about to just totally go off on Lil so I reach out and touch his arm gently. He looks down at me and I give him a pleading look. He gives me a slight nod and sits back down on the bed with me, his arms going around me protectively. “Okay,” I say quietly. “I’ll tell you what’s up.” The two chairs in the room get pulled over to the bed and the rest of the Idols end up squished in to a chair with someone or on the bed with my best friends and myself.

When everyone’s seated I take a deep sighing breath. “The security breach at every show is Jackson. He’s my ex and I have a restraining order against him. He wasn’t allowed near the mansion and he wasn’t supposed to be able to even buy tickets for any of the shows. No one knows how he did it. But he’s been following us this entire month. That’s why Baize started staying in our room.” I shrug.

“That’s all?” Lil asks. I nod, not really wanting to lie, but not wanting to tell them the whole story about my past. “You have a restraining order against this guy and he keeps following us on tour?” I nod again, my eyes brimming with tears.

The other Idols sit silently, taking in what I’ve just told them as the tears finally make their way down my face. Adam leans over and gently catches each drop of salt water on his lips. “It’s okay,” he murmurs so softly I’m the only one to hear.

Suddenly Lil is jumping up, climbing on top of the bed and throwing her arms around me. “No need to cry, baby girl,” she tells me quietly. “None of us are going to let him get you, you hear me?” I hug her back tightly and nod, not trusting my emotions enough to be able to speak. “And I’m sorry for being so bitchy about wanting to know what was going on.”

“It’s okay,” I reply quietly as she pulls back from our embrace. I look around at all the other Idols. “I should have told you guys sooner, but I was too embarrassed about it.”

“Oh, Sweetie, there’s no reason to feel embarrassed,” Lil tells me. “We’re all family here. There’s nothing you can’t tell us.”

I nod. “I know,” I say softly. “And I’m sorry that I’m the one causing all this trouble with security.” I look down at my hands clasped in my lap.

Lil clucks her tongue at me. “No need to apologize. It’s not your fault he’s a crazy bastard.” Her words make a small grin appear on my face.

I look up at her. “Thanks. It’s hard not to blame myself for all of this.”

“Well, we don’t blame you. Right guys?” I look around as all the Idols nod their heads in agreement.

“If there’s anything we can do…” Danny trails off.

“I know,” I murmur. “You guys have my back. I’ll let you know if I need anything.”

Lil puts her hands on my shoulders making me look her in the eye. “Now, sweet child, all you need to know is that we will not let anything happen to you. You’ll be okay, we all promise you that.”

“Thanks,” I whisper. “That means a lot.” Lil decides then that they should all leave our room and let us get back to whatever we were doing. The six Idols all give me a tight hug before exiting the room. Then Adam pulls me back in to his arms, kissing my temple.

“Feel better now?” he asks. I nod. “I always knew they’d feel that way,” he says. “I’m just glad that you know it now.”

“Me too,” I tell him. “But I still don’t really want to tell them the entire story. They know there’s a restraining order so they must assume something bad had to have happened. But I don’t want to have to explain it. They don’t need to know the details.”

Adam nods. “You don’t have to tell them anything you don’t want them to know. I think what you’ve told them should be enough. And if it’s not, they’ll just have to get over it.”

I smile up at him. “Thank you,” I murmur. Then I touch my lips to his briefly. We continue cuddling and chatting with Kris and Allison, Baize jumping in from time to time, until it’s time for us to head to the venue.

Another show, another security breach by Jackson. When will it end? The stress of touring, not enough sleep, performing till I’m exhausted and Jackson popping up all the time making me fear for… well, my life to be honest, is really taking a toll on me. It’s a hotel night, so that’s a plus and we were lucky enough to get adjoining rooms so Baize can give us a little space, and he can have some of his own. When my handler lets us in to our room, I go immediately to the only bed in the room and collapse on top of the covers. I’m too tired to even change my clothes or scrub the makeup from my face. I’m exhausted physically and emotionally. All I want to do is curl up and sleep for a few days. But I know that’s not going to happen till September when the tour ends. That thought alone has me in tears in seconds.

Adam comes over to me, sitting down behind me on the bed. “Hey, turn over,” he commands gently. I do as I’m told and look up at him with tear-smeared makeup. “It’s okay,” he murmurs. “Whatever it is, it’s going to be okay.” He kisses the tears off my cheeks and strokes my hair. Then he gets a wash cloth from the bathroom and comes back to wipe as much of the makeup off my face as he can without using actual makeup remover.

He tosses the damp cloth on the floor and begins stroking my hair and cheeks, placing random kisses all over my face. Suddenly, I’m pulling him in, our mouths molding together. We kiss slowly and sweetly, our tongues tangling, licking lovingly. But after a few moments, Adam pulls away, a frown on his pretty face. “Luxe, I don’t think this is the right time,” he says.

I run my fingers through his hair gently. “I just want you to make the pain go away,” I tell him softly, then pull him back in, latching my mouth to his.

He pulls back immediately. “Babe, this isn’t the way to go about this,” he tells me. My eyes quickly fill with tears that begin to pour down my face.

“I’m sorry,” I sob. “I didn’t mean to be so forceful about it. I just… I just… I don’t want to be like this anymore. I want to be loved and I want to be normal and I want to be able to have sex like a normal twenty-something year old!”

“Shh,” Adam murmurs. “It’s okay. You have nothing to be sorry for.” He kisses my forehead lightly. “I promise you, we’ll get there some day, and when we do, it’ll be under the right circumstances. It won’t be because you’re so stressed and feeling insecure. It’ll be because you feel ready to take that step. It’ll be because you love me. It’ll be because you trust me, even though you’re scared.”

I nod and lean up to brush my lips against his, my eyelids heavy. “I’d really like that,” I tell him honestly.

“Me too,” he whispers. “Now why don’t you get your p.j.’s on and we can get to sleep, okay?” I nod again and slowly get up off the bed.

While in the bathroom, I finish taking off my make up and change in to my sleeping clothes Then I head back out to the bedroom. Adam’s already undressed and in bed by the time I make my way out there. I drop my clothes on my duffle bag and climb under the covers with the raven-haired singer. He turns to the bedside table and switches off the light. When he settles back down against the pillows, I curl in to his side, resting my head right over his heart. The strong thump-thump-thump rhythm is grounding and soothing, keeping me in the reality of the moment where my fear and anxiety can’t get to me.

Adam strokes my hair lightly and kisses the top of my head. “Goodnight, Sweetheart,” he murmurs. “Sweet dreams.”

“Mm,” I hum. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Adam replies. Soon after, I’m out like a light.