New "Best Friends to The End" Chapter!

[writefiction]

Title/Chapter: Best Friends to The End (03/?)
Author: amanda: jaclyn’s twin sister
Pairing: Taylor Hanson / OFC: Kayla
Rating: PG-13 (to be safe)
P.O.V.: First Person, switches back and forth but is clearly marked.
Notes: This was written for The Spark Inside Spring 2010 challenge. It’s a rewrite of a hanfic I wrote my senior year of high school (2002 - 03)
Word Count: 3,418
Previous Chapters
Warnings: underage smoking and that’s it.
Summary: When Taylor finds out his best friend is having treatment for an unknown illness, he hops a plane and races to be by her side.

 

CHAPTER THREE

TAYLOR’S POV

I wake the next morning all alone. I stretch and run my hands through my unruly hair. Then I get out of bed and wander down to the first floor. Once in the kitchen I notice the container that holds Kayla’s first dose of medication is empty. There’s only one other place she can be. I walk out to the porch and find my missing friend smoking her morning cigarette. She blows the smoke away and gives me a smile. “Morning,” she says.

I sit down across from her at the tiny table and smile back. “Morning.” There’s a pause in which Kayla flicks her ashes. “So what do you want to do today?”

Kayla shrugs. “I still have a ton of research to do for my senior project,” she says.

“Yeah? What are you researching?”

“Zora Neale Hurston. She was, like, the first African-American woman author to get published,” she explains. “Actually, she was the first woman black or white. She was alive in a time when women were still mostly property. And Oprah is doing a movie based on one of her best-selling books.”

“Really? Which one?”

“Their Eyes Were Watching God.”

“I’ve actually heard of that one,” I tell her. “Heard it was pretty good too.”

Kayla nods. “Yeah, that’s what I’ve heard too. I’m going to read it after my report is all finished and passed in.”

“So we’re mostly working on school work today?” I ask.

Kayla nods, sucking on her cigarette. “Sounds about right.” When she’s done with her smoke, we head in to the kitchen where I make us scrambled eggs and bacon. Then we set up our laptops in the living room. Kayla gets to work on her research while I check my email.

　

KAYLA’S POV

I sigh and scrub my face with my hands. “What’s wrong?” Taylor asks, not looking up from his computer screen.

“Nothing,” I murmur. “It’s just that, there’s so much cool info about this woman’s life that it’s hard to figure out what I should be putting in to the report.”

Taylor looks at me then. “Are you stressing?”

I nod, biting my lip. “A little.”

“First of all, take a break. You’ve been working for an hour and a half,” he says. “Second, why don’t you make notes of the basics of her life. When that’s done, write down everything that’s interesting. Then you can go back and weed out the lesser important facts.” He shrugs.

“That will be a lot of index cards,” I reply. Taylor only grins. I set aside my laptop and my note cards and lean my head on my best friend’s shoulder. “Got any good mail?”

“Not really,” he answers. “But Zac wants to know how you’re doing.”

I smirk. “When did Zac start caring?”

“Oh, you know, the first time he met you,” Taylor replies.

I look at him confused. “What?”

“Here, read this,” Taylor says, turning his laptop towards me. I look at the email on the screen and begin to read.

　

Tay,

What’s wrong with Kayla? What’s she having treatment for? Is she dying? She better not be dying! Give me the details ASAP. I need to know how my future wife is doing. =)

　

My eyes widen. “Future wife?!” I’d never even gotten one hint from Zac that he even liked me in the slightest. He always seems to treat me as some dorky kid sister, even though I’m almost nine months older than him.

Taylor laughs. “He cares more than you know.”

“Obviously,” I mutter, still at a loss. There’s a beat of silence. “He really shouldn’t care so much.”

“Why not?” Taylor asks. “I thought you had a crush on him since you were, like, twelve.”

“I did,” I answer. “But I don’t now. And besides, I have feelings for someone else.” I lift my head from Taylor’s shoulder and pick my laptop back up, suddenly feeling awkward like I’ve said too much.

“Now wait a minute, you have feelings for someone?” he asks. “Who?”

“I’ve sworn myself to secrecy,” I joke, half serious because really, I can’t tell him that the someone I’m having feelings for is him. He’s married after all.

“Ha ha very funny,” Taylor replies dryly, closing the screen of my laptop. “Now who is it? Do I know him?”

“Yeah, ya do. Now let me get back to work,” I tell him, pushing his hand away from my computer and opening it back up.

“Oh my god it’s Isaac!” Taylor exclaims.

“What?! No! God no! Are you crazy?!”

“Well, it’s not like we know many of the same people,” Taylor laughs.

“You’re right, we don’t. Now I’m going to get back to work. Tell Zac not to worry, that I’m fine,” I tell him, my voice a little harsher than intended.

“Geez. Didn’t mean to get your panties in a twist,” Taylor replies. I sigh and continue working on my fact cards. I really didn’t mean to sound so pissed off. But sometimes it’s frustrating to know all of his secrets and not be able to tell him my biggest one because it involves him. It’s even more frustrating when I had thought for the longest time that I was ‘in love’ with Zac. You know the kind where there’s someone famous and you feel like you’re head over heels for them. But when I found out that Taylor had gotten married, my heart broke. I was so sad about it. Not long after that we met and became instant friends. But I still feel jealous of Natalie for getting to have him all to herself, whereas I’m just the friend. Although Natalie gives me the impression that she gets jealous whenever Taylor spends time with me, which in reality isn’t all that much.

After long moments of silence, I give up on working. “I’ve been working on this for, like, four hours now. Can I be done?” I whine.

Taylor laughs. “Sure. Lets take a break and watch some Law and Order.” I shut my laptop down and place it on the coffee table. Taylor puts his down next to mine. Then I grab the remote and switch the TV on, turning it to TNT.

I prod at my best friend’s chest till he lays down, stretching out on the couch. I lay down with him, sandwiching myself between the back of the couch and his side, resting my head on his shoulder. “Comfy?” my best friend asks.

If only he knew.

I nod. “Very.” He kisses my head and we watch the cop drama in silence. It doesn’t take long for his warm embrace and the steady rhythm of his heart beat to lull me to sleep.

I wake from a dream, not remembering too much of it. The more I try to remember, the fuzzier it gets. But what I do remember are the feelings. Feelings of warmth, love and happiness, of being safe. And that feeling doesn’t leave me as I become completely conscious. There’s a warm body beneath me that feels oddly like the one in my dream, as well as the strong arms that are wrapped around me. I smile, snuggling in to the person who’s become my pillow.

After a moment I slowly lift my head to find a peaceful looking Taylor Hanson. I smile and reach up to his face, gently stroking his cheek, his eyebrow, the bridge of his nose. Taylor nuzzles in to my palm, his eyes opening slowly. “Hey,” he croaks, his voice rough with sleep.

“Hey,” I murmur softly.

Taylor kisses my palm and then my wrist making my heart flutter before laying my hand over his heart. “Don’t move,” he says quietly.

“Why?” I ask.

“’Cause I’m extremely comfortable,” he answers. I giggle, resting my forehead against my best friend’s. Then the unexpected happens: we kiss. I’m not sure who initiated it, but it happens. It’s a soft brushing of lip on lip that I pull away from quickly.

I look at Taylor with wide green eyes. “That did not just happen,” I state.

“I’m pretty sure it did,” Taylor replies, stroking my cheek lightly. He cups my jaw in his long fingers, bringing my face to his. His lips move gently over mine and I gasp lightly, jerking away from him again.

“Tay, we can’t keep doing that!” I say even though my heart is screaming at me to just let it happen.

“Why not?” he asks.

“Um, hello! You’re married for one!” I exclaim. Taylor sighs and looks away from me. I flop my head down against his chest. I can feel the steady rise and fall beneath my forehead. It’s gentle and almost soothing. I turn my head, laying my cheek where my forehead just was. Now I can hear the steady thump-thump-thump of his heart. Somewhere in the back of my mind it registers that our hearts are beating in sync with each other. But what is at the forefront is that my best friend and I just kissed. My married best friend. My married best friend that I have feelings for. Feelings I’ve had since the day we met, maybe even longer.

I sigh heavily, the weight of my emotions and the situation getting to me. “Are you alright?” Taylor asks quietly, his hand stroking through my hair.

“I don’t know,” I whisper. “I just…” I lift my head a little to take a peek at the older man. I search his clear blue eyes. “What are you thinking?” I murmur. Taylor shrugs, running his fingers through my hair. “Please, Tay. Talk to me.”

“What do you want me to say?” he asks, his eyes not focused on mine, sounding a little angry.

“I want you to say how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking,” I answer. “Are you as confused as I am?”

“Yeah, I’m confused,” he says bitterly. “I just… You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” I reply. Taylor shakes his head. “Please, Tay. I’m your best friend. You can tell me anything.”

Finally the singer looks at me, directly in the eye and sighs. “I… I was kind of… forced in to marrying Natalie.”

“What?!” I exclaim completely horrified. Taylor looks away from me again, probably in shame and embarrassment. “Come on, Tay,” I say gently. “Tell me the rest.”

“She… I…” Taylor sighs. “She got pregnant and I had to marry her. Everyone agreed it was the right thing to do.”

“Everyone?” I ask. “Who’s everyone?”

“Natalie for one. Her parents. My parents…” he trails off with a shrug.

“You didn’t mention yourself in that very short list,” I state. Taylor only nods. “You don’t want to be married to her?”

My friend shakes his head and sighs. “I mean, she’s going to be the mother of my child, but I’m not sure I want to spend my life with her. I… I kind of have feelings for someone else.”

Upon hearing that, my heart sinks. Even if he doesn’t want to be with Natalie, I don’t have a chance. He likes someone else. “You… You do?” Taylor nods. “Do I… Do I know her?”

Taylor grins at me. “It’s not obvious?” I shake my head, my eyes tearing up a little making me look down at my hands fiddling with the singer’s necklaces. “Kay,” he murmurs, lifting my chin gently. A tear drips down my face and he wipes it away with the pad of his thumb. “Why are you crying?” I can only shrug, not trusting myself to speak. “Please?” he says giving me puppy dog eyes.

“Fuck,” I mutter. “You know I can’t deny you when you give me that look.” Taylor grins in response. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It’s just… remember how I told you I had feelings for someone?” Taylor nods. “That someone is… you,” I whisper the last word.

“Me?” Taylor asks in disbelief.

I nod. “Yeah and it’s hard because you’re married. Plus now you like someone else.” I shake my head. “And we kissed. Twice! And that only makes it hurt worse.”

Taylor brushes my hair back behind my ear. “I love you,” he murmurs.

“I love you too,” I reply, “but it’s different for me. You don’t mean it the same way.”

“Who says I don’t?” he asks.

I slowly lift my gaze to the older teen. “What?” I force out on my last breath because I’m pretty sure I’ve stopped breathing right now. He can’t honestly mean what I think he’s suggesting.

“You’re the one I have feelings for. Ever since the first day we met,” he explains.

“Really?” My heart begins to lift and swell with hope and love. I can’t believe this is happening to me. I can’t believe this beautiful man that I’ve been so head over heels with for so long is now admitting that he feels the same.

Taylor nods, stroking my hair. “The more I get to know you, the more I know these feelings are real.”

My vision blurs with tears again. “Oh, Tay,” I murmur at a loss for anything better to say.

“I just…” Taylor looks away for a moment. When he brings his gaze back to mine, his baby blue eyes are sad. “I’m married,” he murmurs. “I’m having a son.”

“It’s a boy?” I ask with a smile.

My friend nods. “Jordan Ezra.”

“Adorable.”

“I love this whole pregnancy thing,” he tells me. “I love that I’m going to have a son. I’ve always wanted to be a dad and have a big family. I’m just… I don’t think it’s her I want to be doing that with.”

“Do you… Do you love her?” I ask quietly, nervously.

Taylor looks at me and nods making my feel like the biggest fool alive. “Of course I do. She’s carrying my child. How could I not love her for that? I just… don’t love her for how she went about it.”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“She was on the pill and I always used a condom,” he explains. “There was only one time that we didn’t use a condom. Just once. And after we got married, she told me she had stopped taking her birth control. She knew that if I got her pregnant I’d have to marry her.”

“Oh god, Tay,” I murmur. I squeeze him tightly around the ribs, burying my face in his neck. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper. Taylor wraps his arms around me tightly and presses his face in to my shoulder.

“I want to say I’m sorry too,” he says quietly, “but that would be just like saying my son’s a mistake and he’s not. He’s precious. He didn’t ask to be brought in to this mess, ya know?”

I nod, completely understanding. “So what do we do?” I ask softly.

“Don’t know,” Taylor answers. He shrugs his shoulder, lifting my head a little. I lift it the rest of the way to look at him.

“What?”

“Come ‘ere,” he murmurs taking my face gently in his hands. He pulls me in for a kiss, immediately licking at the seam of my lips, desperate and needy. Against my better judgment, I open up for him, letting his tongue in to my mouth. The kiss is hard and desperate as he searches the unfamiliar territory with his soft pink muscle. But then I take over, bringing the kiss to soft and sweet as I explore. Taylor immediately responds, lapping lovingly at my tongue, brushing his fingers through my long blond hair.

I slowly bring the kiss to a peck, placing a couple light kisses against his lips before pulling away completely. “We can’t keep doing this,” I tell him, a devil on one shoulder protesting what I’m saying and an angel on the other completely agreeing with what’s coming out of my mouth.

“I know,” he whispers. “It’s just so hard because you’re the one I want to be with.” I lay my head back down on his shoulder, pressing my nose in to his neck.

“I don’t want to be the other woman,” I murmur. “I want to be the woman.”

“You’re not the only one,” Taylor mutters, gently dragging his fingers through my hair. We’re silent for a moment until he speaks up again. “I just… For the rest of my visit I just want to forget anything else exists. I want to pretend that there is no Tulsa and no Natalie waiting for me.”

“You’re leaving in twenty-four hours,” I whisper. My friend nods. I lift my head and search his ocean blue eyes. “Is this what you really want?” I ask. “Do you really want to pretend with me?”

“No,” he murmurs. “What I want is to really be with you. But I can’t. Not now anyway. And if pretending is what I have to do to be with you for right now, that is what I want. I’m willing to take whatever I can get.”

I lean in close, resting my forehead against the singer’s. “I love you, Taylor, and I want to be with you,” I tell him. “But I don’t want to be the reason for your marriage ending.”

“This marriage isn’t real,” he replies. “I never should have taken those vows in the first place. I didn’t… I didn’t really mean them when I said them. I mean, I’ll love and cherish her forever for being the mother of my son, but that’s it. Marrying her never felt right to me. No matter what, you’re not the reason for the break up.”

“Promise?” I whisper.

“Cross my heart.”

We stare in to each other’s eyes for a few silent moments. Then I lay my head back down on his shoulder, holding on to him tightly. “So what are you going to do?” I ask.

“About what?”

“About you and Natalie,” I clarify.

“I want a divorce,” he answers. “But I don’t know how or when to do it. I mean, should I wait till after the baby’s born? Or should I tell her right away? I don’t want to jeopardize being a father. I feel like if I divorce her before he’s born that she won’t ever let me see him, that she won’t even let me be there when he’s born.” He sighs and says in a little voice, “I don’t know what to do.”

“You don’t need to decide right now,” I assure him. “Take time to think about the how and when. I mean, you’ve still got time until the baby’s born, right?”

I feel Taylor nod. “He’s not due till the end of October.”

“You’ve got time,” I murmur, Taylor absently stroking the hair trailing down my back. We lay there silently, both lost in our own thoughts.

When I come out of my haze I place a light kiss to the singer’s neck. “I love you,” I tell him quietly.

He gives me a gentle squeeze and a kiss to the head. “I love you too,” he says. “And I mean it the way you do.” I squeeze him back, my heart swollen with love but also aching, knowing he’s leaving in just twenty-four short hours to go back to Tulsa, back to his wife and unborn son.

My eyes fill with tears and I squeeze my eyes shut against them, which only serves to force them out. They fall on to Taylor’s neck and he lifts my head so I have to look at him. He frowns. “Why are you crying?” he asks.

“I can’t… I can’t do this,” I tell him.

“What do you mean?” he asks slowly. “Can’t do what?”

“I can’t have you here and not have you,” I explain. “You’re married and that’s not changing any time soon. Plus, you’re leaving tomorrow and that’s killing me.”

The blond wipes gently at the tears on my face. “It’s okay,” he murmurs. “I’ll only be gone for eleven days. You can make it eleven days, can’t you?”

“I don’t know,” I whisper. “It still doesn’t fix the married part.”

“When I’m here we can pretend I’m not married,” he says.

“It’s still cheating,” I reply. “And I can’t do that. Not after what cheating did to my mom. It’s been twenty-four years and she’s still not over it. I don’t think she’ll ever get over it.” I lay my head back down on his shoulder and sigh. Taylor’s tense beneath me and that worries me. I wonder if he’s mad at me.