New "Song to Sing" Chapter!!!

[writefiction]

Title/Chapter: Song to Sing (01/??)
Author: amanda: jaclyn’s twin sister
Pairing: Zac / OFC: Olivia
Genre: Love / Romance / AU
Rating: PG
P.O.V.: first person, switches back and forth but is clearly marked.
Notes: This is written for the Hanfic Genre Challenge
Other Notes: Sequel to Collide
Word Count: 1,122
Previous Chapters
Summary: After The Walk Tour ‘08, Olivia and the rest of Late Night Romance move down to Tulsa so Olivia can be with Zac. After entering her second trimester, there’s a tragic loss that sends Olivia in to a devastating depression that puts a huge strain on her relationship with Zac. Will they be able to overcome this hardship or will it destroy them?

 

CHAPTER ONE: December 2008

ZAC’S POV

It’s been six months since the day we lost our baby to a miscarriage and Olivia hasn’t been the same since. She’s gotten severely depressed. Gone is the bubbly, happy, spontaneous girl I fell in love with and in her place is the saddest creature I’ve ever known. She barely eats and she cries all the time. Mostly at night when she thinks I’m sleeping. But I can’t sleep when I know she’s crying. I can’t comfort her either, she won’t let me. So I’ve laid in the bed we share night after night for the past six months, listening to her weep, hiccup, and sniffle.

After a few months of this behavior I called a psychiatrist to find out what I could do to help her. Dr. Sparrow told me to bring her in right away for an evaluation. She also said that from what I had told her, Olivia may need to be medicated for a while. Well, the evaluation proved that Olivia was indeed severely depressed and Dr. Sparrow prescribed her some antidepressants, telling her that she had to come back once a week for talk therapy appointments. At first I couldn’t get Olivia to take her meds. I only let this go on for a week, until her next appointment with the doctor. Dr. Sparrow advised me to, basically, force Olivia to take them and count her pills daily. When she protested the doc told her that if she didn’t comply, that her recommendation would be for Olivia to be hospitalized. After that appointment, she started taking her medication regularly.

It took about five weeks before I saw the tiniest bit of improvement, she started eating more. At first it was at breakfast with her pills because if she took them on an empty stomach, they made her sick. After a while I got her to incorporate lunch in to her day, then supper. But other than regular meals, I couldn’t get her to eat anything else. But at least she was gaining back some of the weight she had lost. She had started to look like a skeleton and that had worried me. As the weeks went by, she seemed to cry less. She even slept better at night, not tossing and turning so much. She also started letting me try to comfort her when she did cry. I began to think things were turning around.

& & & & & &

Six months to the day of losing our baby and Olivia still hasn’t said a word about the wedding. She hasn’t gone back to planning it and it’s only five short months away. I glance up from editing the newest FUTY to see my girlfriend still on the leather couch across from my desk, writing in her notebook. Dr. Sparrow convinced her to write in a journal at least once a day to keep track of her thoughts and feelings and anything she wanted to bring up in session. I don’t really want to interrupt her, but I can’t work on the FUTY with my mind so focused on what the hell we’re going to do about the wedding. I sigh and stand, moving around my desk and cross the room to sit beside her. “Liv?” She holds up one finger to signal me and continues to scribble furiously in her book. After she gets her thought out, she looks up at me with a barely there smile.

“What’s up?” she asks.

“Can we talk?” I counter. She nods and sticks her pen in her notebook, closing it, and placing it on the floor. Then she turns to me, leaning back against the arm of the couch, hugging her knees close to her chest.

“Penny for your thoughts?” she says.

I nod slowly. “I just… I was just wondering when we were going to get back to planning for the wedding,” I tell her. “I mean, it’s only five months away and basically all we have is a guest list.” At that point, I hold my breath, not knowing how she’s going to respond.

Olivia nods. “I know, we’re pretty far behind. But I just… I don’t think I can get started with Christmas on the horizon,” she says. “The holidays are just too stressful as it is. Before…” She pauses, not wanting to voice what she’s thinking, so I nod knowingly. “I just thought we’d be further along with things by now and we’d take a break over Christmas, ya know?”

I nod, reaching out to squeeze her hand. “So when do you think we could start again?” I ask gently.

“How ‘bout January first?” she suggests. “That way we won’t have any kind of celebrations coming at us in a hurry… except for, ya know, the wedding.” She smirks and it feels good to see something other than gloom and doom on her face. I can’t help smiling back at her.

“So how are you feeling today?” I ask.

She shrugs. “Not great but not bad either,” she answers. “Same old, same old.”

“Just as long as you’re not getting worse,” I say quietly.

Olivia nods. “True. But it’s just that…” She sighs.

“What, Sweetie?” I ask.

Olivia looks down at her knees. “Sometimes it feels like I’m not getting any better.”

“Oh, Liv,” I murmur. I pull her close, wrapping my arms around her tightly. She melts in to my embrace, nestling in to my chest. “Have you talked about this with Dr. Sparrow?”

She nods. “Yeah, she said to give it a couple more weeks and then we’ll try upping the dose of my antidepressants.”

“Are you sure you want to wait?” I ask. She shrugs. “You know if you don’t agree with Dr. Sparrow you can tell her that.”

“I know,” Olivia sighs. “I just kind of feel like she may know better because she’s a doctor and she deals with this stuff all the time.”

“Babe, this is about how you feel,” I tell her. “If you aren’t feeling better and you feel like your progress has flat lined, you need to tell her that you don’t want to wait a few weeks, you want to do something about it now because it takes time for the antidepressants to kick in. If you start them this week, you’ll be feeling better by New Year’s. But if you wait, it might not be until the end of January, ya know?”

Olivia nods. “Yeah, I know. But… I think I should listen to her.”

“Okay,” I sigh. “If that’s what you want.”

“It’s what I want,” she murmurs.

I kiss her hair lightly. “I’m behind you one hundred percent in what you want to do.”

“Thank you,” Olivia whispers hugging me tightly.

“Any time, babe, any time.”


& & & & &

Stay Tuned for Chapter Two!

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Comments

[prettyzombiegrl.livejournal.com]

awww this is so sad and sweet at the same time! sorry it's taken me a while to get to this, but i'm liking it so far! onto the next chap!