My Smile is My Make-Up: the end

[writefiction]

Title/Chapter: My Smile is My Make-Up: the end (03/04)
Author: amanda: jaclyn’s twin sister
Fandom: American Idol
Pairing: unrequited Kradam
Rating: PG for some dialogue about blood.
P.O.V.: First Person, Adam Lambert
Author’s Note: This started as a one-shot to get out my feelings. Now it’s a one-shot trilogy. lol. So here’s the final (I hope) installment of My Smile is My Make-Up. Enjoy.
Warning: character death (not kradam)
Word Count: 1,992
Previous Parts
Summary: Kris shows up at Adam’s door eight months later with his daughter.

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MY SMILE IS MY MAKE-UP: the end

Eight Months Later…

It’s a lazy Saturday afternoon on the phone with Cheeks when my doorbell rings. “Hey, I’ve gotta go. Someone’s at the door. I’ll call you later?”

“Okay, Sweet Pea. Talk then,” Cheeks says and hangs up.

I put my phone on the coffee table and head to the door as the bell rings again. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” I mutter. I open the door and my heart skips a beat… or two or three. Or maybe it just stops altogether for a few moments. Kris Allen, Kris fucking Allen, is standing on my front steps.

He gives me a sad smile. “I came as soon as the pediatrician said she could fly.” I look down and in his tight grip is an infant carrier complete with an infant.

“How… How old is she?” I ask.

“Two weeks and one day,” he answers. I nod and step out of the doorway to let him in.

Kris moves over to the living room and sets the baby carrier on the coffee table. “Do you mind watching her while I make a bottle?” he asks. “I mean, you don’t have to pick her up, just make sure she’s okay.”

I nod. “Yeah, sure.” I sit down across from the baby on the couch as Kris wanders off to the kitchen, bottle and formula in hand. The little girl with bright blue eyes looks around as if she’s taking in her surroundings. Then her eyes focus on me and she reaches a teeny tiny hand out to me. I lift my hand, ready to give her my finger, a smile on my face when I hear the water turn on in the kitchen. I pull my hand back quickly remembering this is not our child. She’s his and Katy’s. She’ll never be ours. I sigh and lean back in to the couch.

A moment later Kris joins us, setting the bottle on the table and unbuckles the little girl from her carrier. He cradles her in the crook of one strong arm and offers her the bottle which she sucks on contentedly.

The only sound for a few moments is that of the suckling baby. I can’t take the silence anymore and have to ask the questions burning in my brain. “What are you doing here, Kris?” I ask quietly, picking at the polish on my nails.

The brown-eyed father, who’s still looking down at his child, sighs deeply. “I… I didn’t know what else to do. I can’t stay in that house,” he says.

“What are you talking about, Kris? Why can’t you stay in your house? What happened with you and Katy?” I ask, concern clearly etched on my face.

Kris turns towards me, tears in his heavenly brown eyes. When one trickles down his cheek, I instinctively reach out to wipe it away, but stop myself before I actually touch him. I let my hand drop and scoot over to the arm of the couch, leaning back against it, pulling my knees up to my chest. “Adam,” he whispers. “She… She died. Katy died.”

I feel my eyes bug out of my head. “What?!” I exclaim. The baby in Kris’ arms whines a little. But after a few soothing words from her daddy, she settles back down. “What do you mean she died?” I ask him.

Kris sighs. “The delivery went well. But afterwards…” He shakes his head. “She just started gushing blood and the doctors… They couldn’t do anything. They tried to save her, but she’d been bleeding internally for so long there was nothing they could do. I’m not… I’m not really sure what happened to make her bleed so much.” He shrugs and looks down at the little girl in his arms.

“Oh, Kris,” I murmur, wanting nothing more than to take him in to my arms. But I’m still hurt by what happened between us eight months ago.

I chew on my lip a moment, trying to figure out what to say next. “So, what’s her name?” I ask after a moment.

Kris lifts his head, a small smile on his face. “Bella Rose,” he answers. My heart clenches painfully in my chest.

That was supposed to be my daughter's name. How could he?

“Why’d you… why’d you name her that?” I ask quietly.

Kris looks at me, his face serious. “Because, that’s what you always wanted to name your daughter,” he says. “And now, you have one.”

I furrow my brows. “Kris?” I question, too confused to say anything more.

“I’m here,” he tells me quietly. “That is, if you still want me.”

My heart skips a beat and jeez, that’s painful. “What?” I breathe, my lower lip beginning to tremble.

“I’ve always loved you,” Kris murmurs. “It took me a while to figure out that was just what I was feeling, that it wasn’t just a really good friendship. Our connection has always been so much more than friendship. I know you know that.” I nod almost imperceptibly. “But when I met you I was married to Katy. I had made vows with her to love her till death do us part. Well, it’s happened and…” He shakes his head, his eyes tearing up. “One of the last things she said to me was that I could be with you now, we have her blessing.”

Tears rapidly fill my eyes and overflow on to my cheeks. “She… she really said all that?” I ask. Kris nods. “I just… I don’t know what to say.” The brunette stays silent as he puts the empty bottle on the coffee table and burps his daughter. Then he sets her back in her infant seat and turns to me.

“Say you love me,” he pleads quietly. “Say you want me. Say you need me. ‘Cause that’s what I’m saying to you, right here, right now. I love you, Adam. I want to be with you. I need you. Don’t you see?”

I shake my head. “I don’t see,” I tell him. “I don’t understand.”

Kris sighs and moves closer, wiping the tears from my face. “I’ve always loved you, Adam, but I believe all these things happened for a reason. Being married to Katy, Katy giving me a child and then dying. It all happened for a reason. You and I… When we met, we weren’t ready to be together. But now here we are, with this beautiful child who needs us. Who needs to parents to love her and take care of her. I truly believe this is how it was meant to be, how it was meant to happen. We’re soul mates, Adam, I know you believe that.”

I nod slowly. “I do believe that. I’ve always believed that,” I tell him quietly. “But why did Katy have to die?” Tears trickle down my face again. I’ve always liked Katy. She was always so sweet to me.

Kris moves even closer, taking my hand in his face and wiping his thumbs under my eyes to catch the tears. “I don’t know,” he whispers. “Maybe God has something bigger for her on the other side. But all I know is that she gave us the most amazing gift ever. She gave us this beautiful little girl and she gave us her blessing. What more could we have asked from her?”

I nod. “I just wish she didn’t have to give her life to give us these gifts.” Kris nods in agreement, not saying anything. Then he leans forward, wrapping his arms around my neck tightly. I hug him back just as tight, burying my face in his neck, letting a few more tears fall.

After a while we pull apart and Kris goes out to the car to get Bella’s port-a-crib. He brings it back inside, setting it up in the guest room. He puts her in the crib and sets up the baby monitor, taking the other monitor with him as we leave the room. “She’ll sleep for a few hours before needing a diaper change,” he says. “Then she’ll sleep for another half hour or so before wanting another bottle.” I nod.

Kris takes me by the hand then and leads me across the hall to my room. He sets the baby monitor on the bedside table and turns to me, taking both my hands in his. He looks down at our clasped hands, his thumbs rubbing gently over my knuckles.

I hope he doesn’t notice how clammy my hands are.

Kris looks up at me, a small crooked smile on his face. “How should we…”

“How should we what?” I ask.

Oh god! He doesn’t want to do  that,

My heart begins to beat rapidly as a slight blush rises to the apples of his cheeks. “I just… I want to make this real,” he says.

“And by that you mean…?”

The guitarist’s blush brightens. “I want to make love,” he tells me.

My heart feels like it’s going to pound right out of my rib cage! I’ve always dreamed of this moment, but why am I so scared now that it’s happening? “I… I don’t know, Kris,” I say quietly.

He frowns. “Why not?”

“I just…” I sigh letting go of his hands to run my fingers through my hair. “This is all a little too much for me. It’s all happening so fast.”

Kris nods. “That’s okay,” he reassures me, moving closer and wrapping his arms around my waist. I loop my arms around his shorter frame. “We don’t have to go at this speed,” he tells me. “We can take things slow. I just… This is really happening, right? Please tell me that we’re a family now. I just need to know you want this too.”

I look down in his mocha colored eyes to see desperation and pleading there. “Is this what you really want?” I ask.

“It’s all I’ve ever wanted since we met,” he answers.

I give him a short nod, then gently frame his face in my large hands. I lean in slowly, brushing my lips against his, just a ghost of a kiss. “I want this too,” I tell him. “I want this family, you, Bella and me. I want us all to be together.”

“You sure?” Kris asks, tears in his eyes and I really hope they’re happy ones.

I nod. “I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life.”

“I… I love you, Adam. I’ve mi-missed you so much,” he says, the tears falling down his face in salty rivulets. I lean down, catching the droplets with my lips in tiny kisses.

“I love you too,” I tell him, tears forming in my own eyes. “I’ve been hoping you’d come back to me. I thought if we were meant to be together, the universe wouldn’t keep us apart, you’d come back. And now you have.”

“I never wanted to leave you in the first place,” he tells me.

“I know,” I whisper. “I know.” I give him a gentle squeeze before leading him over to my king size bed. I lay down on top of the covers and he lays down beside me. Then he pulls me over so I’m laying completely on top of him, our bodies flush.

“I need this,” he murmurs, nuzzling the top of my head. “I need you to shield me from the world for a little bit.”

“I can do that,” I reply quietly, hugging him tightly as I press my face in to his neck. “I’ll protect you from everything,” I whisper. “Nothing can hurt you anymore because we’re together now. Nothing will ever separate us ever again.”

“Promise?” Kris asks in a tiny voice.

I lift my head to look at him, running my fingers down the side of his face. “I love you,” I tell him gently. “There’s nothing I won’t do to keep this family together. I promise you that.”

& & &

Stay Tuned for the EPILOGUE!
This just keeps growing! lol

  does he?! Too much too soon!

Comments

[embaka.livejournal.com]

Here I sit, clapping my hands for the happy ending. Then I read "does he? Too much too soon!" Now I am once again sitting here tapping my foot, waiting for the Epilouge. You know you are going to cause me to actually get off my butt and do the dishes to distract myself. Hope you happy! lol

[writefiction.livejournal.com]

Damn lj messed with my entry AGAIN! "does he? Too much too soon!" was supposed to be after the line: "he doesn't want to do THAT," but whatev.

Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying this so much :D And yes, you're going to have to do the dishes since I'm taking a break from writing right now. Sorry! lol

[adammlambert3.livejournal.com]

Www :') waiting yor the epilogue!

[adammlambert3.livejournal.com]

*aww

[writefiction.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading! I can't wait to get working on the epilogue. I hope you (and everyone else) enjoy it!

[yumipitz.livejournal.com]

OH GOD KATY. :(

[kira-dark-wing.livejournal.com]

awwwwwww! I feel a little bad about Katy, but Kradam is fially together a they have a little girl, and there is an epilog on the way and*draws breath* okay ranting over

[ceci-09.livejournal.com]

Great update, looking forward the epilouge.