writefiction | Repost of "Breaking Free"

Title/Chapter: Breaking Free (22/?)
Author: amanda: jaclyn's twin sister
Pairing: Zaylor Hanson
Rating: NC-17
Notes: AU-ish. No wives, no kids. They still live in Tulsa. And the story starts in May 2003.
Previous Chapters
Summary: Typical Zaylor fic

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Taylor's POV

Tears sting the back of my eyes. I don't try to fight it. I let the salt water drip down my face as I continue smoking. Chain smoking actually, and by the time my pack is down to two final cigarettes, the office door opens and Zac walks in. He closes the door quietly and turns around with his gaze pinned to the carpet, his hands shoved into his pants pockets. I just sit there, smoking in silence, watching my brother.

Finally, after three minutes that felt more like three hours, Zac lifts his head to look at me.

"Was it really that bad?" he asks, nodding towards my almost empty pack of Marbs. He knows me well enough to know I only ever smoke this much when I'm too upset to be consoled.

I nod and take a long drag off my cigarette. Zac sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. Then he moves to stand in front of me, picking up my ashtray. He holds it out to me as I take one final drag before putting it out.

Zac places the ashtray on my desk and then climbs into my lap. He sits sideways with his knees pulled up to his chest. He wraps his arms around me and lays his head on my shoulder. I keep my arms glued to the arms of the chair.

We sit in silence. But after a minute or two, my brother speaks.

"If you say it first, I'll say it too," he says quietly. My lips twitch, wanting to curl upwards into a smile. But they don't. Zac was using my eight-year-old logic.

When we were kids and we'd fight, our Mom would sit us on the couch and tell us we couldn't move until we had hugged and made up. Even at age eight, I didn't want to be the one to give in first. So I always told Zac that if he'd say sorry first, I'd say it too. Of course he always agreed. Then we'd hug and go back to playing.

But now at the ages of twenty and seventeen, I don't think it's going to be quite that easy.

"That's my line," I state.

"I know," Zac whispers. I bite my lip, then say,

"If you say it first, I'll say it too."

"Okay," Zac agrees softly. He moves his hand from my shoulder to cup the side of my neck. He strokes my jaw lightly with his thumb.

Zac takes a deep breath before beginning his apology.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Tay," he says softly. "I should have just told you why I was upset and we could've talked calmly about it. And I'm sorry I hit you. I was mad, but... I'm sorry."

I reach up to curl my fingers in my little brother's hair and sigh.

"I'm sorry too, Baby," I whisper. "I'm sorry I didn't leave you alone when you asked. And I'm sorry I hit you. But damnit, Zac."

I close my eyes against the on-coming tears and lean my head back against the back of the chair.

"When you said I supposedly love you... god that hurt," I tell my brother. "It hurt so bad. I love you, Zac. There is no supposedly about it." Zac tightens his hold on me.

"I know, Tay," he says quietly. "I know you love me. I'm sorry I said that. I'm sorry I hurt you."

I wrap my arms around Zac and give him a squeeze. He cranes his neck back so he can look me in the face without moving away from me too much. Then he touches my cheek lightly and says,

"I love you, Taylor. I know I yelled at you and hit you, but I love you. I really do."

"I know," I tell him, brushing his shaggy bangs from his eyes and kissing his forehead. Then I cradle him to my chest like I used to do with Zoe when she was an infant.

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