shame on you, you fool me once

I love my laptop! It's pink and pretty and fast.

Also, my mom is trying to get me to go grocery shopping when she gets back from her walk with Mike. I don't really want to go but we have no food. My mom could go by herself but she usually doesn't come back with much. She says it's cuz she doesn't know what I want to eat. That's so untrue but whatever. She says I should go because tonight isn't a good tv night. But I'm really not in the mood. I just want to hang out with the lappy. :)

But my mom's right. There isn't anything on tonight. There isn't a whole lot on any time though. All the good stuff is on at the same time. This is when DVR would be helpful.

Now I'm just rambling so I'll go.

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that the new laptop is FLAMINGO PINK

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So I found the perfect laptop. It's a refurbished Dell & it's Sunshine Yellow. It's $419 with 3GB of memory and 250 (can't remember if it's mb or gb) harddrive. I wanted a Flamingo Pink one but they don't have one under $500 in the style I want or with the size harddrive. But I like the sunshine yellow color too. It's bright and pretty. Plus it's free shipping&handling until April 30th! So the computer is really only $419! It makes me happy. :D I also did the math and after all the money I've saved my mom will only have to pay $74 but that doesn't include a wireless router. But still! I'm very excited. I really hope I can get it.

In other news... I'm going to see my PCP today. I'm going to ask her about taking Chantix again. The first time I took it I got severly depressed. But this time it's Spring and my emotional state is always better during the warm weather. Plus I'm taking better medication for my depression. Also this time we know what to look for. And in the first six weeks I went from a pack and a half a day to a quarter of a pack a day. And that was before I had the depressive side effect. I'm thinking when I get down that far I could switch out the Chantix for, like, the lozenges or something. I don't like the gum. It tastes like pepper. But the hard candies might too because of the nicotine. But I'll have to wait and see what Kim says. I hope she'll be cool with it. Last time when I came off it she said I could always try it again and maybe not take the higher dose. General idea is that smaller dose will have less side effects.

I really want to take it again because I really want to quit smoking. I can't continue to do it financially or physically. In just the first six weeks of taking it last time my dr said she could already hear my lungs healing. And I could feel it. I was doing karaoke at the time and I noticed I could hold notes longer and sing longer without having an asthmatic coughing fit. I didn't even even cough all winter when I went out in the cold. It was so nice. I want that again. I used to be able to swim almost the entire length of the pool at the Raquet Club under water on one breath. I can barely go five feet now. And most of that five feet is just a push off from the wall. I'll be so excited when I can do that again. I love to swim but it actually makes my heart race b/c I have such a hard time breathing. I think that's part of the reason I'm not active: I can't breathe.

Hopefully things will go well today. It probably will. Kim will be excited about the weight loss and how much better I'm doing emotionally too. She's so cool b/c she genuinely cares about her patients and not just because it's what she's paid to do. It's nice to have a doctor that actually cares about how you're doing. I've known some that are just like, You're a waste of time. I'm only here because I'm being paid. It really makes you not want to see them. But it's hard when they're the only one available to see.

Anyway... My appointment isn't until 4:15pm. So I have a lot of time to procrastinate. LOL.

Well, I should get back to writing. I need to finish the hancestical TH birthday challenge. It's due this weekend.

Talk to you later.

xoxo

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