Respect in Fandom

[writefiction]

So I just read a journal entry that kinda pissed me off. It was about respect in fandom. A fandom in which I was heavily involved in too. I know that I started the drama I was involved in, but where was my respect after I apologized? Yeah, I apologized and it got me nowhere. There were things said and done to me that made me feel it wasn't even necessary for me to apologize, yet I did it to be the bigger person. And when I asked if I was going to get an apology I was told no because they weren't sorry for telling me to kill myself. And at the time that they told me to kill myself, I actually attempted suicide. Obviously it didn't work. I'm still here.

I don't understand why this girl gets backed up on the respect issue when most of the people that backed her up are the people that couldn't respect me. It angers me and it upsets me. But the thing is, it shouldn't because I like the fandoms I'm playing around in now, that actually show respect to people, except for that one anonymous comment I got. But people stuck up for me after I got that comment, even tho I'm pretty sure the girl who stuck up for me didn't like the story either. But she did it because she's a friend and felt the comment was uncalled for.

I'm not sure what I'm even trying to say here. I guess the point is, if you want other people to respect you, you should show some respect too. The fandom that this whole thing is about, they act very... high school. All banning together for the purpose of excluding others when someone does something wrong to ONE person. It makes no sense since most of the girls in this fandom are out of high school and some are even out of college.

It's been almost four months and I haven't really talked to any of the girls in this fandom. And I've pretty much dumped the fandom just because I can't deal with those girls. Yeah, at one point, I wanted to get back in with them, but the thing is... I don't want them to gang up on me again if I disagree with something. I don't want to be banned from things just because I speak my mind in a journal entry because of something that happened that was kind of upsetting to me. Did they ever think I write these entries to get things off my chest in order to deal with it and move past it? Probably not and highly doubtful.

Respect is a two way street. And if this post makes them feel like I'm disrespecting them, then so be it because like I said, it doesn't really matter if I get back in with that clique. Srsly. Another thing that was said in this post that I read is that the fandom is small enough and we should be encouraging each other and not excluding. Well, what the hell did they do to me? Even after I apologized? Even after almost four months of leaving them all alone and not butting in on anything and just... everything.

In my honest opinion... Fandom sucks and fandom is great. There's always going to be those people that aren't respectful of others' decisions to write what they want, the way they want or even have respect to let people disagree with things that are scheduled / handled / or what not. It doesn't mean we hate you, just because we disagree. And yes, people are allowed to complain about things that they don't like or that irk them. It doesn't mean they're being disrespectful, not necessarily. It just means they don't like something and they need to vent. And I'm sure there are plenty of you out there that need to vent about things sometimes and you mean no disrespect.

Comments

[heartturnsblue]

If this is about the post I think it's about, I feel the need to comment here because I commented on it. And I was, I'm pretty sure, the only person who commented on that post who was also involved in the drama with you.

It really feels like you try to make everything about you, and in this particular case, it really isn't about you at all. This drama is between a particular set of Zaylor writers. I'm only involved because it has affected some of my friends and sort of me as well, because of what I've chosen to write.

If you don't know what the drama is, then you're not part of it. You (this a general you, not just you in particular) make things worse when you put in your two cents and try to make it about you when it isn't and you aren't part of it at all.

I could keep going about this, but I'm not going to. It's better to just leave this alone and let it die down on its own without trying to perpetuate the drama.

[writefiction.livejournal.com]

You're right that drama didn't concern me. But as far as respect in the Hanson fandom... Yes that does concern me. And by the way, you could at least have a point to your comment.

[heartturnsblue]

If it doesn't concern you and you don't even know enough about it to understand who is being disrespectful and what they are being disrespectful over, then stay out of it.

Stop making everything about you. This isn't about you, because the entire world isn't out to get you. You make it sound like the same people being disrespectful in this situation are the ones who were involved in your drama, and they aren't. They probably don't even know each other at all. You're painting every hanfic writer with the same brush and making yourself out to be so horribly persecuted by all of us, and that isn't fair.

So the point I had to my comment? The point you apparently missed? Stay the fuck out of this drama because it isn't about you. You want less drama? You want people to like you? Then stop stirring up drama where there either A) Isn't any or B) It isn't about you. End of story.

[writefiction.livejournal.com]

I didn't write this post to start a pissing match so back the fuck off. And I think I know a little about disrespect in fandom or have you fucking forgotten? No, I don't know about this specific disrespect, but I did read the post so I kind of understand.

And no, not everything is about me, I fucking get that. I'm not making it sound like the same people involved in my drama were the ones involved in her drama. I was just saying that I totally fucking understand because apparently this whole fucking fandom is about disrespect. And you know what, you may not think I was horribly persecuted, but it sure as hell felt like it. I was banned from something just because I didn't agree with someone! And yes, because an entire group of people just banned me from their lives/journals/what the hell have you, I can paint every hanfic writer I know with the same fucking brush from the same fucking can of paint. Make sense?

So in case you missed my point: back the fuck off. I was just venting my feelings about how the hanson fandom completely sucks and acts like they're still in high school when they should be adults about things.

Now that's the end of the story.

[heartturnsblue]

I'm not making it sound like the same people involved in my drama were the ones involved in her drama.

....

I don't understand why this girl gets backed up on the respect issue when most of the people that backed her up are the people that couldn't respect me.

If that isn't trying to say that the hancest writers who are backing up Abby are the same people who backed up Renee, then what are you trying to say? Don't tell me my comments are pointless when you contradict yourself and expect me to be too dumb to notice.

You are being completely and totally unreasonable here, and when you paint all of us with the same brush just because we disagree with you on one thing, then you turn all of us against you (when we might not have been otherwise). I don't know how to make that any clearer.

And you'll get respect when you show it.

[writefiction.livejournal.com]

Like I said before, back the fuck off. This isn't a pissing match. Yes, I contradicted myself, excuse me for being human and making a mistake. And no, I didn't think you'd be too dumb to notice since I didn't realize I was even contradicting myself at the time. Stop assuming shit.

And srsly, back the fuck off.

Please & Thank you.

[heartturnsblue]

You do realize I'm not attacking you? Or maybe you don't, because as I've already said, you think we're all out to get you.

All I wanted was for you to realize that you were butting into drama that had nothing to do with you, and that that kind of behavior is what makes people dislike you. Get your facts right and don't contradict yourself when you try to blame people for stuff they didn't do, and you won't have any problems with me or anyone else.

I'll end the "pissing match" now, even though that's never what I meant for it to be at all.

[sisterxsunshine]

I didn’t write this post to start a pissing match…

Sorry to tell you this, but you did. I’m pretty much an outsider to all of this bullshit (though I’ve been filled in on most of the details), and even I can tell that it was your whole intent.

You need to grow the fuck up. You are more than old enough to realise that not everything in fandom is about you (yes, I just checked your userinfo – get the fuck over it). Not only do you stir up a fuckload of drama, but your post is completely passive-aggressive.

So what if you don’t like something that a writer has chosen to expend their creative energies on? I don’t like hancest, and I don’t like smut. Do I bitch and moan about that particular dislike? No, I do not. I keep it under my hat, and I don’t click on links to stories that are either hancest or smut. And if someone links me to that kind of story, I tell them I prefer not to read stories of that nature and I MOVE THE FUCK ON.

I am often quite ashamed to call myself a Hanson fan. A good many other fans, including those I choose to associate with, know how to behave themselves. Others don’t. And you so happen to fall in the latter category. As for respect, you have not a shred of it for others. You would not have made this post, or chosen to insult a very good friend of mine, if you did.

I repeat: GROW THE FUCK UP. Act your age for once in your life, not your fucking shoe size. Immaturity is not becoming in the least.

- Ez

[writefiction.livejournal.com]

and who the fuck are you? I don't even know you so why the hell are you commenting on my journal?

[aeryn brown (from livejournal.com)]

One of shewasred's friends - and that's all I'm about to tell you.

And I have every right to comment if I choose to. You posted this as a public entry. If you didn't want all and sundry coming to tear you a new one, maybe you should have been intelligent for once in your life, and made it friends only. *smiles sweetly*

Oh, and banning my journal from commenting? That's REALLY fucking mature. *eyeroll* Fucking grow a pair, would you?

- Ez

[writefiction.livejournal.com]

It's more mature than you finding a way around it