shame on you, you fool me once

So there's this boy... Or man rather because, yeah, he's over eighteen. A lot over eighteen. But anyway... I've been talking to him on Twitter. He's a nice guy, he's in a band that's fucking amazing, and I seem to be developing a crush on him O.O That's right, you heard me: CRUSH. I'm all heart eyes over him. But he lives on the West Coast and is only here, a state away, for the holidays. He's leaving in two days. I'm sad about this. I wanted to meet him before he left. I mean, I still probably could, but it'd be hard since I don't drive and he doesn't have a car over here because he's just visiting.

But the other night Missy was telling me she'd steal her dad's car to get me to him. Then I tweeted him and told him if he saw Missy at any point while he was here, it's because she stole her dad's car and he should tie her up and send her back to me. It was odd.... but in a good way. But srsly, I haven't had a crush on a guy like this in years. Not since Aaron. But then you're probably wondering who I've been all crying over the past year, right? Well, that was a girl. That's why I put the emphasis on guy. The only other guys I've had crushes on since Aaron were gay and that's safe because they don't want to touch me. They have no interest in me sexually.

Wherein lies the problem. I'm kind of scared shitless to be with someone. Probably why I get crushes on people who are not interested in females or are married... or both. But he's single AND he likes women. I think my traumatized part of myself is freaking out while the other somewhat normal side of me is thrilled. It's quite annoying. And I keep checking my email every 5 seconds like I'm a teenager waiting for her first crush to call after he says, I'll call you.

But tonight he's out with a friend so I shouldn't be really expecting anything. And besides, it's not like he knows I've got a crush on him. But he's adorable and I really want to meet him before he goes back to California. Like, I just want to hang out with him. And when I went to Rhode Island on Sunday, I actually saw a sign on the highway that had the exit for his high school! lol. I think I freaked my mom out when I was like, OMG! and then I had to explain myself. But I didn't tell her I freaked because it's him and I've got a crush on him. I don't think she'd like that. She thinks all people on the internet are scammers or something. Although she's liked my friends she's met that I met through twitter. She even likes n_isfor_neville and we've never met because she lives too far away. But anywho.....

I'm all squirmy waiting for any sign of him on twitter or in my inbox. I feel like the biggest dork, but I have such heart eyes for him! It's crazy!

But enough about me, how are y'all doing?

Love,
amanda: jaclyn's twin sister