shame on you, you fool me once

So I think I'm ready to post about this, but I'm not sure. I'm going to try.

On Wednesday, January 14th, I noticed Logan (my cat aka the Bitch Kitty) was doing something weird with her neck. She couldn't lift her head up. It was like her chin was stuck to her chest. I noticed this at, like, 10:30 in the morning, but I figured if I told my mom she would just have said to wait till she got home and she could look at her. So when my mom called at 3:15 to ask if I wanted to run errands with her I told her about Logan. I also told her that Logan looked sad but her neck didn't hurt and she could move it from side to side.

So Mom came home and we went on our errands. When we got back I showed Mom Logan's issue. She decided to call our vet and see if it was possible for a cat to get a stiff neck. We called Russell Animal Hospital and they told us to bring Logan to CAVES (capital area veterinary emergency services) right then; it could NOT wait till morning. She probably had a chemical imbalance and cats deteriorate fast. So we packed Logan up into her cat carrier, which was weird in itself b/c after hiding once under the bed, me getting her and trying (unsuccessfully) to get her in her cage, she went into my mom's room (the bed she always hides under), went around the corner of her bed and just flopped down. She didn't even struggle when I picked her up. This was not my kitty. So we eventually get her in the cage, which she goes into willingly, and we're off to CAVES.

When we get to the animal ER they take us right in to Exam 1. They weigh Logan and take her temperature, which she just laid there for. The only other time I've seen a cat do that was when MnM had the kitty flu and had been puking for hours. They found out that Logan was REALLY dehydrated. They also found out that she had full range of motion in her neck, but she just couldn't move it on her own, which pointed to low potassium b/c the potassium is what makes your muscles work. So they did blood work. They actually put a IV catheter in her. They also did a urine sample. The only things that the tests showed was that Logan's potassium was almost non-existent, she had tons of glucose in her urine, but her blood glucose was within the normal range. Also, the tests were basically inconclusive to WHY all of this was happening.

Five hours and 400$ later, we decided to euthanize Logan. They brought her in for her last goodbyes. All I could think is that this was not my kitty. She just laid there under the towel they had given her. The fact that she was under the towel was the only thing that really reminded me of her. She's always been cold-blooded and has loved to be under blankets. But she just laid there. Normally when she's at the vets' she's on her best behavior, all friendly-like, and loves to explore the counters, jumping from one to the other. But she was just laying there, not moving. In the five hours we'd been there, she'd gotten worse and the vet didn't think she'd even make it through the night, that we were probably doing what was best.

Mom didn't want to be in the room when they injected her, but she stayed b/c I wanted to be there. I wanted to be there b/c I hadn't with our other cat and I'd always regretted it, 3 years of regret. Also, Logan has really bad separation anxiety when it comes to me. I didn't want to just walk out of the room like that. She'd already had a panic attack when they were doing her blood. I actually heard her cry, but Mom said it wasn't her.....until the dr came in and told us she had a panic attack, then I think she believed me.

Anyway. Logan was so sick by that point I don't think she even got the full injection before she was gone. I could tell by her eyes. The light really does go out.

What was even worse, is that when we got home there was a message from my grandmother saying that she was coming down b/c Nani, her best friend who is like another grandmother to me, was in the hospital with heart failure: fluid around the heart. Now, you may think that some people get through it after they drain the fluid, right? Well, there's something you should know about Nani. She's 91 years old. I'm freaking out b/c I can't take another death this week. Not like this. Especially not her.

I'm so sad right now and I have to freakin go to the GI today. I don't want to, but I have to. They're hard to get in to see. *sigh*

I hope all my Flisters are doing better than me.
*huggles to all*

First of all: Holy shit! I just downloaded Never Been to Spain / Blue Sky live tracks and holy hell! I don't think I've ever liked Hanson so much. lol I don't know what it is, but these two live tracks are kind of.....sexy?

Anywho.......

So today I have a play-date with Jaclyn and Jake. Jaci has an appointment at the court and she asked me if I'd sit with Jake and play cars with him. She also said she'd buy me lunch. Of course I'll bring money for lunch, especially since she doesn't have a job right now. But I had to make my alarm go off at 7:45 this morning so I could hit the snooze button three times and actually get up at 10 past. I know, I'm weird. But I'm not really a morning person.

Also, I've had this wicked headache since, like, 6:00 this morning. I didn't sleep much between then and when I actually had to get up. Then I had to wait an hour to take anything for it b/c I took my thyroid medication at 7:30 instead of 5am. You're supposed to take it on an empty stomach, not even with other pills. So whenever I get up in the middle of the night, I take it and then when I officially get up, I take the rest of my pills b/c it's been way longer than an hour. I took Extra Strength Tylenol about 45 minutes ago and it hasn't kicked in yet. But that's probably my fault b/c I've been on this stupid computer since I got up. The brightness of the screen makes my head hurt. Hell just reading stuff is making my head hurt.

But I'm going to stick it out, b/c I really canNOT cancel on Jaci. That would suck big time on my part. Although, if I really had to, I could probably just ask her to bring him here and have him hang out here until she's done. But I would rather go out with them and have some awesome lunch instead of being stuck here. Besides, I always feel like my house isn't child safety proof enough. And of course there's always Logan, aka, Bitch Kitty. She doesn't like anyone. Especially Jake for some reason. She really doesn't like anyone younger than me. But especially little boys. She makes Jake cry. Or she did when he was really little. He was like a year and a half old and he would call her the mean kitty and tell her to be nice. And he'd call MnM the nice kitty or the fat kitty (she weighed more than him).

So yeah, those are my plans for today. I should probably start getting ready. I have about 2 hours before they come for me.



[p.s.] creepy!zac is fucking hot! (fyi: I'm talking about an evening at the big top. lol)


[Edit: 12:00pm]
Play-date has been canceled. Jaci txt'd me and said she wasn't going today, but she didn't say why. So yeah. That's about it.
[/End Edit]

I went out with my case manager today and took pictures of flowers from around my neighborhood.
We even went to the florists down the street and asked if we could take some pictures of the flowers in their courtyard.
So here are some of my beautiful shots.


 











And here are 2 pictures of The Bitch Kitty trying to eat my cupcake!







& & &

So those are my adventures for today.
Next Wednesday Jen (my case manager) and I are going to go to Whites Park to take pictures.
There's a duck pond and there's a big spray / fountain thingy in the middle of the pond, so there should be some interesting things to photo.


P.S. No, I haven't started on my "goodbye" fic yet. I know, I suck. >.<

I entered my cat in a Pet Photo Contest.....






Think she'll win?