writefiction | Entries tagged with death

Irene M. Irving
Peace activist and gift to us, gift to the world

Irene Meacham Irving, 92, of Havenwood-Heritage Heights in Concord, died peacefully Tuesday, Dec. 15, 2009, surrounded by a circle of family and friends.

Born Oct. 20, 1917, in Woodsville, Irene grew up in Concord and graduated from Concord High School.

She was the executive director of Merrimack County United Way from 1970 to 1985 and involved in numerous community activities. She was a Girl Scout leader and served on the boards of Swiftwater Girl Scout Council, Concord Visiting Nurse Association, the ABC (A Better Chance) Program, New Hampshire Central America Network, New Hampshire Habitat for Humanity and the Concord Clinic.

She was an active member of the United Methodist Church and served for eight years on the national board for Church and Society in Washington, D.C. She was peace and justice coordinator for the New England Methodist Conference. Irene was passionately dedicated to New Hampshire Peace Action. In recent years, Irene was involved with the Multi-Cultural Project in Concord and Islamic Center in Manchester.

Irene had very special feelings for Nicaragua, stemming from the covenant relationship between her church and la Iglesia de Cristo de Nicaragua. This relationship prompted no less than 15 visits to Nicaragua. Additionally, she arranged and traveled with three Bridges for Peace delegations to the former Soviet Union. As recently as this summer, she helped to organize Pastors for Peace informational caravans to Cuba for medical and educational supplies.

Many organizations benefited from Irene's tireless dedication and honored her. She received the Brotherhood award from the National Conference of Christians and Jews, the New England United Methodist award for Excellence in Social Justice Action, the International Affairs award from the Federation of Women's Clubs, Solidarity award from la Iglesia de Cristo de Nicaragua and the Servant Leader award for Outstanding Christian Ministry.

Traveling and meeting new people was a rewarding experience for Irene. She especially enjoyed a study trip to Israel, Egypt and Jerusalem, with her husband John and special friends. Spending time with her family, especially cheering at her grandchildren's many sporting events, was another much-loved activity. [link]

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Ellen on my TV

So many people have died not only in the past few days, but also in these past two years. It has creeped me out, made me so depressed that I'm actually crying as of before I even started writing this post. I never ever thought Michael Jackson would die. He was always one of those people you thought would last forever. Now I'm sorry I never went out and bought Thriller and the only thing I ever had was Jackson 5's Greatest Hits. I used to listen to that cd while I drifted to sleep every night when I was 13.

I feel like I should be chain-smoking while I write this. And tonight proves I must have alcoholism in my blood because I want to get drunk off my ass right now and forget everything that's going on right now. All these deaths and how today is the third half birthday of Emilie's that she's missed since she died. If she were alive she would be 22 & 1/2 years old. She's been gone for 2 & a quarter years today exactly. I'm still not over it.

My sister is on strict bedrest with the twins. The doctor is hoping for another 2 & 1/2 weeks with those babies inside her. And Jessica is stupid and thinks she can go up&down the stairs two or three times a day and all this other shit. She's stupid. Her luck they'll come while we're down there Saturday because she won't keep her fat ass planted in bed! So with all these deaths and because my sister is stupid and because they've put her on a monitor and IV meds that I'm now freaking out about the twins. I don't think I can take much more.

And god, when my dad called the other day he was really upset because he'd fucked up and missed all those years of our lives and he doesn't think he has much time to make it up to me. He knows he's lost Jess & Troy forever. But he's still got Kev, me, Nessa, and Minnie. Plus their kids. But he won't have Jessica's twins. And I'll never have kids so really he's screwed in the grandkid arena.

I just want some hope in my life. I want some happiness. Mostly I'm sick & tired of being so depressed of so many people dying whether I knew them personally or not. It's been a hell of a last two years and I'm sick of it.

I feel like I'm drowning, drowning in heartach and tears. I just wish someone could save me. That's what I want: I want to be saved.

Won't you save me?

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Current Mood: Bawling my eyes out in this da
Current Location: Has Moved to the Porch to Chain-Smoke
Current Music: Bloodletting by Medicated Kisses (rip)

So I think I'm ready to post about this, but I'm not sure. I'm going to try.

On Wednesday, January 14th, I noticed Logan (my cat aka the Bitch Kitty) was doing something weird with her neck. She couldn't lift her head up. It was like her chin was stuck to her chest. I noticed this at, like, 10:30 in the morning, but I figured if I told my mom she would just have said to wait till she got home and she could look at her. So when my mom called at 3:15 to ask if I wanted to run errands with her I told her about Logan. I also told her that Logan looked sad but her neck didn't hurt and she could move it from side to side.

So Mom came home and we went on our errands. When we got back I showed Mom Logan's issue. She decided to call our vet and see if it was possible for a cat to get a stiff neck. We called Russell Animal Hospital and they told us to bring Logan to CAVES (capital area veterinary emergency services) right then; it could NOT wait till morning. She probably had a chemical imbalance and cats deteriorate fast. So we packed Logan up into her cat carrier, which was weird in itself b/c after hiding once under the bed, me getting her and trying (unsuccessfully) to get her in her cage, she went into my mom's room (the bed she always hides under), went around the corner of her bed and just flopped down. She didn't even struggle when I picked her up. This was not my kitty. So we eventually get her in the cage, which she goes into willingly, and we're off to CAVES.

When we get to the animal ER they take us right in to Exam 1. They weigh Logan and take her temperature, which she just laid there for. The only other time I've seen a cat do that was when MnM had the kitty flu and had been puking for hours. They found out that Logan was REALLY dehydrated. They also found out that she had full range of motion in her neck, but she just couldn't move it on her own, which pointed to low potassium b/c the potassium is what makes your muscles work. So they did blood work. They actually put a IV catheter in her. They also did a urine sample. The only things that the tests showed was that Logan's potassium was almost non-existent, she had tons of glucose in her urine, but her blood glucose was within the normal range. Also, the tests were basically inconclusive to WHY all of this was happening.

Five hours and 400$ later, we decided to euthanize Logan. They brought her in for her last goodbyes. All I could think is that this was not my kitty. She just laid there under the towel they had given her. The fact that she was under the towel was the only thing that really reminded me of her. She's always been cold-blooded and has loved to be under blankets. But she just laid there. Normally when she's at the vets' she's on her best behavior, all friendly-like, and loves to explore the counters, jumping from one to the other. But she was just laying there, not moving. In the five hours we'd been there, she'd gotten worse and the vet didn't think she'd even make it through the night, that we were probably doing what was best.

Mom didn't want to be in the room when they injected her, but she stayed b/c I wanted to be there. I wanted to be there b/c I hadn't with our other cat and I'd always regretted it, 3 years of regret. Also, Logan has really bad separation anxiety when it comes to me. I didn't want to just walk out of the room like that. She'd already had a panic attack when they were doing her blood. I actually heard her cry, but Mom said it wasn't her.....until the dr came in and told us she had a panic attack, then I think she believed me.

Anyway. Logan was so sick by that point I don't think she even got the full injection before she was gone. I could tell by her eyes. The light really does go out.

What was even worse, is that when we got home there was a message from my grandmother saying that she was coming down b/c Nani, her best friend who is like another grandmother to me, was in the hospital with heart failure: fluid around the heart. Now, you may think that some people get through it after they drain the fluid, right? Well, there's something you should know about Nani. She's 91 years old. I'm freaking out b/c I can't take another death this week. Not like this. Especially not her.

I'm so sad right now and I have to freakin go to the GI today. I don't want to, but I have to. They're hard to get in to see. *sigh*

I hope all my Flisters are doing better than me.
*huggles to all*

Current Mood: heartbroken

Logan Jeddest Watson

July 5th, 1998 - January 14th, 2009
Rest In Peace my Sweet Baby

Current Mood: crying

Dedicated to Paul: one year. still missed.

The Sweetest Goodbye
© Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers

No matter how many times we've done this
And we've done it so many times
It never does get easier
When it's time to say goodbye
And I wear your memory underneath my shirt
Like an Indian tattoo
Crushed by conscience in a mental slide show
And I dream of kissing you

And it's the sweetest goodbye
When I get home
We're gonna sleep all day
Just you and I
And if you never left you'd never know why
You had to go in the first place
And I picture your sweet face
Picture your sweet face
Picture your sweet...
Sweetest Goodbye
The Sweetest Goodbye

Now there's two of you
That I find myself saying goodbye to
And at night the three of us are in my head before I sleep
And I know we need the money
Though I hope it doesn't show
Cause whatever I've got coming
Comes to me when we're alone

And it's the sweetest goodbye
When I get home
We're gonna sleep all day
Just you and I
And if you never left you'd never know why
You had to go in the first place
And I picture your sweet face
Picture your sweet face
Picture your sweet...
Sweetest Goodbye

The Sweetest Goodbye
The Sweetest Goodbye
The Sweetest Goodbye

Every second of every minute
Of every hour of every day
I'm thinking of the things that I can say
To make you miss me when I go away-way-way-yeah

(the sweetest goodbye)
And it's the sweetest goodbye when I get home
(the sweetest goodbye)
We're gonna sleep all day just you and I
(the sweetest goodbye)
And if you never left you'd never know why

The Sweetest Goodbye
The Sweetest Goodbye
The Sweetest Goodbye
The Sweetest Goodbye

Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: The Sweetest Goodbye - Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers

Today is Valentine's Day, but you already knew that.
Today is my first Valentine's Day without Emilie.
It's almost been a year since she died.
It'll be a year next month.

The other night I dreamed about Emilie. And her little sister and their mother. I can't remember if their dad was there. But it was weird b/c we were at Camp Wanakee. Emilie and Alexandra never went to that camp. But I did plenty of times growing up. They went to a Greek Camp that now does a scholarship in Emilie's name.

But the dream was so weird. So real. So saddening. Emilie was there, but she wasn't alive. It was her spirit. I could see her holding hands with Alexandra and Alexandra was oblivious b/c, hello, it was Emilie's spirit and I was the only one who could see her. She told me that they didn't experiment on her. Which was definitely weird b/c when her organs were donated, they couldn't use one of her corneas, so it went to research. So that part just completely freaks me out.

It was all just very weird. She was there, yet I was the only one who knew. I was the only one who could see her. And it was because it was her spirit. I was the only one who could see her spirit. And she would talk to me. She'd tell me things. And it just wants to make me cry so bad. You would think I could be over this by now. But obviously I'm not.

When she died, I hadn't seen her for two years. When we were just little ones, we were inseparable. Then her mom got married and had another baby and they moved across town or whatever. We stopped hanging out so much. But then it started back up again once my mom got divorced from my step-dad and we needed a place to go b/c we couldn't afford our house anymore. Emilie's parents owned a duplex and we could move into it once they evicted the people upstairs. Lots of stuff happened and we ended up moving into their basement for a month. Then when we moved into our apartment we still went over, like, every Wednesday night b/c that was "date night" and Mom had to watch Emilie and Alexandra. So I went with.

Emilie graduated high school and I went to her graduation party. That was the last time I saw her. She went off to Keene State and then she dropped out and came back home. But I didn't see her again until she was a corpse in a casket. It's hard. Although, it hasn't been so hard, except for when I dream about her, like the other night. It makes me miss her more. Makes me think of her more. Makes me wish I could have done the past few years over. I dunno.

But then the dream ended up, kind of cool in a way. I was crying over Emilie and then Matt (the guy who doesn't know he's going to marry me someday) was hugging me and telling me it was okay. We were at camp still. He's gone to that camp a lot. Just not at the same time as me. He works there just about every summer now that he's too old to be a camper. The end of the dream was nice b/c he was so comforting. We somehow were at my house and somehow my house was a beach-front property. It was weird. But he was still there and he was still.....well, he loved me.

It's just, I can't explain. Like, my aunt and uncle will still to this day talk about how Matt and I were meant to be or whatever. It's complicated. I dunno. I think I'm just going to stop babbling now.

Ambien gives you the weirdest dreams. Yet, they can have a surprise happy ending.
Although, when I woke up from that dream about Emilie and then Matt, I just wanted to cry. Can't wait till next month *sarcasm* I just hope by the end of March it won't be so snowy up at the cemetary or else I'm gonna have to use snow-shoes or some shit to get to Emilie's grave. :P I'll worry about that next month.

Isaac Hanson singing "Ain't No Sunshine" is definitely going to cheer me up. It's one of the best songs he's ever sang in his entire life. It makes me smile.

xxoo,
amanda: jaclyn's twin sister

Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: What Would You Live For - Hanson

This is what I wrote on January 29, 2008:

I thought 2008 was going to be different. Jeff's brother was the Christmas Miracle. One day he was on life support, having strokes, and the family was thinking about pulling the plug. A week later he woke up, was breathing on his own and wanted a cigarette.

& & & & &

This morning when I got up, I checked the caller ID as per usual. There was a call from Jeff at 1:01AM. So I, of course, called my mom and asked her what that was all about. I hadn't even heard the phone ring last night. She said she had wanted to wait till later to tell me. Jeff's brother died. That's all I know. I'm pretty sure Mom didn't want to explain everything over the phone while she was at work, ya know?

This brings the death toll up to 14. From March 2007 - February 2008 there have been 14 people I have known personally that have died. If you want to include all the actors that have died, it brings the number up to 18. Then, if you include Mark's mom, who is dying and will probably die soon, the number is 19.

wtf?

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: The Best Damn Thing (cd) - Avril Lavigne

Alrighty. Here we go. Know how a couple months ago I was all, 2007 is the year of death? Yeah, well it's happening again. Not that many of the people dying this year are people I'm friends with. Most of them actors. But still. So here's how it goes.

& Sam the Butcher from The Brady Bunch

& Susan Pleshette

& Brad Renfro

& Heath Ledger

& Elsie Keefe (lady from my church)

& Crazy Sherry (my mom's friend)

& Mark's Mom (eventually)

Explanation? Sure.

Apparently Crazy Sherry died in, like, November and my mom didn't tell me b/c so many people were dying. She just told me last night. And she also told me about Elsie Keefe. And then last night we also found out that Mark's mom is dying.

Last year she was diagnosed with cancer. She had a tumor in her brain. She had it removed and did chemo. A couple weeks ago, she went into the hospital to have fluid drained from her lungs. The cancer has come back and it's spreading. Apparently she knew this as far back as November. She told everyone except Mark. I think he only found out b/c of her latest hospital visit and the fact that they're sending her home with hospice nurses.

I thought 2008 was going to be different. Jeff's brother was the Christmas Miracle. One day he was on life support, having strokes, and the family was thinking about pulling the plug. A week later he woke up, was breathing on his own and wanted a cigarette. I thought he had changed everything. I thought that b/c he didn't die that this would give 2008 a fresh start. Maybe people I knew wouldn't die. But then all these actors started dying. Then Elsie and then my mom tells me about Crazy Sherry. And she totally counts for 2008 b/c that's when I found out about her. I just want to crawl into a hole and never come out. But there's nothing I can really do about it. People die. It's how things work. But really, it shouldn't be so many people all at once. Give people time to get over one death before having another. But no, not me. But, whatever.

& & & & & & &

So on to a different topic.

This week is crazy. Here's another list.

Monday + therapy

Tuesday + Med Check

Wednesday + Dinner @ the Neighbors'

Thursday + Cholesterol Clinic

Friday + Eye Doctor's

So that's my crazy week. Plus, we're going grocery shopping today after my med check. So that's even more. Hopefully next week will be better b/c all I have is therapy, case management, and then Thursday I get to party, party, party! Going to dinner and a movie! Mom and I are going to Newicks. They just opened one in Concord. It's where Smokey Bones used to be. And the movie....Well, it's totally a guilty pleasure, but it's that Hannah Montana / Miley Cyrus / Jonas Brothers concert thing. Srsly. I can't help myself. They're actually really good singers.

Anyway. I need to get caught up on Plaything and then think about showering and getting dressed and maybe having something to eat. Ugh. I wish I could just stay in my p.jamas all day.

xoxo, amanda: jaclyn's twin sister

Current Mood: eh
Current Music: Silver Bullet (acoustic) - Hawthorne Heights

So, my grandma called the other day at, like, 11pm to tell us that my great-aunt's father-in-law died. I don't even know which great-aunt she was talking about. My mom talked to her. I didn't. But that makes death #11 for this year.

A couple months ago Jeff's brother broke his neck and had to have a halo put on. He healed and got it taken off. But then last week his daughter found him on the floor at his house asking if Jeff was still in the kitchen. Jeff lives here in New Hampshire. His brother lives in Mass. And there was evidence that things had just not been right. It was all very weird. So he got put in the hospital again.

This morning Jeff called. His brother had a stroke last night. They've decided to pull the plug. So Jeff and his son are on their way down to Mass. They might even be there by now. Everyone is pretty sure that the brother is going to die once they take him off the machines. But, you know, there's always a slight possibility that he might be okay. Of course, this is like the umpteenth time that they thought he was going to die in his life and he's always pulled through. But really, I think this time's different. So, if he dies, he'll be the 12th death for this year. 2007 is definitely the year of death. I promise you. I hope 2008 is better.

Be safe, lovelies.

amanda: jaclyn's twin sister

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Understanding in a Car Crash, cover by Paul Farris (r.i.p)

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Nani - October 20, 1917 - December 15, 2009
Please Stay With Me I Can't Do This Alone Again
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you......
The last picture ever taken.
May 27th, 2008 - 1 year
Happy Valentine's Day?
14
2008 is as good as 2007
2007 = Death

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Page generated Dec. 24th, 2025 04:06 am

shame on you, you fool me once

i won't let you fool me twice

Entries tagged with death

Nani - October 20, 1917 - December 15, 2009

Please Stay With Me I Can't Do This Alone Again

You'll never know, dear, how much I love you......

The last picture ever taken.

May 27th, 2008 - 1 year

Happy Valentine's Day?

14

2008 is as good as 2007

2007 = Death